Stee: How come Ludacris can say he's got hos in every area code, but Weezer can't say Hash Pipe? Pamie: Look. Eric Nies. Right there, second row.
Pamie: "I will now begin lip-synching my arse off." Man, everyone is in trouble, from the casting people...
Stee: ...to U2.
Pamie: MTV is grounded. Go to your room.
Stee: "Slapping down them bills..."
Pamie: "One hundred. Two hundred."
Stee: "I'd like to dedicated this performance to me Da who just died. And Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf."
Pamie: "Sometimes anger comes in tiny little packages."
Stee: You know how in Irish, some names are all different from how they're spelled.
Pamie: Yeah. In Ireland, Aaliyah is actually spelled "A-I-X."
Stee: Y'all can look to Jamie Foxx for your refunds if we're not being funny.
Pamie: "You could have asked us, U2. Because in Ireland, you prounce 'Jamie Foxx' 'That Sucks.'"
Stee: Sally Struthers is going to come out: "Please. For just thirty cents, the price of a cup of coffee, you can make Jamie Foxx funny."
Pamie: "And for just a dollar more a month, you can sponsor a recapper's rehab. Don't make them drink Michelob Light."
Stee: "Also, Pamie and Stee. Can I have some Cheesy Bread?" The Comedy Store and the Laugh Factory are dark tonight.
Pamie: Bono is starting to look like Robin Williams.
Pamie: Speak American!
Everyone stands as U2 accepts their Video Vanguard award. Bono makes a crack about MTV not paying its electricity bill. Bono says they've made a lot of "dodgy" videos with "dodgy" hairdos. He says that, without MTV, they might have kept the mullet to a regional phenomenon. He thanks the fans. He calls New York City a "room." He says the best thing New York ever gave them was The Ramones. He pays tribute to the late, great Joey Ramone by having The Ramones take the stage in a "very un-punk rock situation." Everyone stands again. The camera pulls back and Bono announces The Ramones one more time. They don't get to say a word.
Jamie Foxx has no grasp of the English language. Johnny Knoxville and Snoop Dogg take the stage. Snoop Dogg has become a parody of himself, and as Johnny tries to speak words, Snoop just makes some noise and wiggles his tongue in his mouth. More hats and sunglasses. The nominees for Best Rock Video: Staind "It's Been A While"; Aerosmith "Jaded"; Linkin Park "Crawling"; Limp Bizkit "Rollin'"; and Weezer "Hash Pipe." Poor Weezer. Poor Mikey. Poor us.