Mondo Extra
The MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
In the Name of God, MTV, and The Fans
Pamie: His name's Brian, right? I think I got that. Stee: Who? Pamie: That guy. Stee: No, Howie! Ray: That's not a Backstreet Boy! Pamie: Yeah, I think they just threw someone else in to fool us. Stee: No! Y'all! Aaron Carter and Nick Carter. Remember? Pamie: Yeah, I remember that- Stee: So it's not Howie. Obviously. [pause] Okay, Howie may be in *NSYNC. Pamie: See, you don't even know! Stee: Who's on first? Pamie: Exactly. Outkast wins. An entire row of men stand up and cheer. Outkast is too stoned to remember they have to go up to accept the award. They dance to their own song and take their own damn time getting to the stage, stopping to hug P. Diddy and F. Gary Gray, among others. The one dressed like Pinocchio chokes on his own spit at one point and the other one has to encourage him to keep talking.
Ray: Hee hee! Stee: He likes the antelope cartoons. Ray: Why isn't that funny? Stee: He's just running. Ray: It was a skip hop. Pamie: Man, Ray just likes things that prance. Stee: Antelopes. Sisqo. Ray: It's Best Hip Hop Video, and he's Hip Hopping. That's awesome. Stee: Man, I had that argyle sweater when I was a kid. Pamie: I'm sorry. Stee: I did. Pamie: I'm still sorry. Ray: Outkast looks like Boy George. Pamie: I think that's the look they're going for, Ray. Outkast clothing line? Man, for all your HR Pufnstuf needs.
As Outkast leaves the stage, Jamie walks on with a bottle of champagne, offering it to AJ. The audience practically shoots spitwads at him. Jamie insists that it's just cider and then goes on for too long asking whether the boy can drink some cider. It never turns funny because there's nothing charismatic or charming about Jamie Foxx. He just looks like a dick. Well, the show is officially tanking. Cue Will Ferrell. He runs on stage and climbs the back screen shouting, "I am raging!" Just let the man improv, because the writers are killing all things good. "I am raging against this show!" Ferrell continues, wearing a Skid Row t-shirt and a backwards cap. He demands to see O-Town. He asks for Winger. The audience chants for him to jump. He doesn't, and there's no more funny, so Will demands to see O-Town again. Then Mike + the Mechanics, Warrant, and Crazytown. Hee. Crazytown. See? We know he added that himself at the end. Where the fuck is that stupid "Butterfly" video in the nominations after the six-thousand times it aired this year? Huzzah! There's still no possibility of this moment getting better, so they break to commercial.

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
The MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
In the Name of God, MTV, and The Fans

Stee: That's Aaron Carter or Jimmy Carter or whatever the fuck Carter.
Pamie: His name's Brian, right? I think I got that.
Stee: Who?
Pamie: That guy.
Stee: No, Howie!
Ray: That's not a Backstreet Boy!
Pamie: Yeah, I think they just threw someone else in to fool us.
Stee: No! Y'all! Aaron Carter and Nick Carter. Remember?
Pamie: Yeah, I remember that-
Stee: So it's not Howie. Obviously. [pause] Okay, Howie may be in *NSYNC.
Pamie: See, you don't even know!
Stee: Who's on first?
Pamie: Exactly.

Outkast wins. An entire row of men stand up and cheer. Outkast is too stoned to remember they have to go up to accept the award. They dance to their own song and take their own damn time getting to the stage, stopping to hug P. Diddy and F. Gary Gray, among others. The one dressed like Pinocchio chokes on his own spit at one point and the other one has to encourage him to keep talking.

Ray: Hee hee!
Stee: He likes the antelope cartoons.
Ray: Why isn't that funny?
Stee: He's just running.
Ray: It was a skip hop.
Pamie: Man, Ray just likes things that prance.
Stee: Antelopes. Sisqo.
Ray: It's Best Hip Hop Video, and he's Hip Hopping. That's awesome.
Stee: Man, I had that argyle sweater when I was a kid.
Pamie: I'm sorry.
Stee: I did.
Pamie: I'm still sorry.
Ray: Outkast looks like Boy George.
Pamie: I think that's the look they're going for, Ray. Outkast clothing line? Man, for all your HR Pufnstuf needs.

As Outkast leaves the stage, Jamie walks on with a bottle of champagne, offering it to AJ. The audience practically shoots spitwads at him. Jamie insists that it's just cider and then goes on for too long asking whether the boy can drink some cider. It never turns funny because there's nothing charismatic or charming about Jamie Foxx. He just looks like a dick. Well, the show is officially tanking. Cue Will Ferrell. He runs on stage and climbs the back screen shouting, "I am raging!" Just let the man improv, because the writers are killing all things good. "I am raging against this show!" Ferrell continues, wearing a Skid Row t-shirt and a backwards cap. He demands to see O-Town. He asks for Winger. The audience chants for him to jump. He doesn't, and there's no more funny, so Will demands to see O-Town again. Then Mike + the Mechanics, Warrant, and Crazytown. Hee. Crazytown. See? We know he added that himself at the end. Where the fuck is that stupid "Butterfly" video in the nominations after the six-thousand times it aired this year? Huzzah! There's still no possibility of this moment getting better, so they break to commercial.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

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