MONDO EXTRAS

Oh, Those Wacky Muslims

by Kim February 26, 2001
The Princess & the Marine

The movie opens with some military-type music playing while a military vehicle rolls through a Middle Eastern town. Inside the vehicle, Zack (and don't think I'm going to bother finding out his name in this movie, because he'll always be Zack to me) reads from a book entitled Bahrain. He informs his fellow passengers that most of the high-ranking officials in Bahrain have the same last name -- Al Khalifa. One of his friends says that they get the picture, and Zack states the obvious (and not for the last time) -- "it's a royal family." A bunch of Middle Eastern-dressed extras wander around outside, except for one fat American tourist. Heh. Or maybe that was just a guy who got lost on the studio tour and snuck onto the lot somehow. Back inside the vehicle, Zack says that the family has been ruling Bahrain for "three hundred years," and his hick friend comments that maybe in that length of time, the family could have come up with "some new names." Um, hello, hick? It's their last name. It's not as if they're going to change it. I hate the hick already. Other friend teases Zack about reading the stupid guidebook (and word, other friend) and Zack says that he likes to "learn about new things." Like underage foreign girls? Oh, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

The military vehicle enters a base of some sort. A guy who looks like Tom Skerritt orders them all out of the vehicle. He tells them that they are in Manai Plaza, "the most secure military residence in the Gulf." Zack and friends will be living there as well as guarding it. Tom Skerritt says that it's "a Muslim country, so no booze and keep it zipped." Oh, those wacky military guys with their instructions. He ends his rant by informing the troops "this is a totally different culture."

"Funny" cut to Mad About You being shown on a television with the credits in Arabic. Ugh, it's the Mabel years. A pretty girl watches the show and laughs, then her mother comes up and calls her Meriam, so this is the princess. Meriam grabs a tray of cookies from a passing servant, and then answers the door (which is actually a giant gate), welcoming a female visitor to her "house of henna." Strange comment, but it all becomes clear in a moment, so hang on. The two girls walk into the house, giggling, and the house is gigantic with marble floors and chandeliers and such. So, she's a princess and she's rich. Got it.

The two girls enter a room where a bunch of women are sitting around painting henna tattoos on a Lady in Red. It looks like a Pottery Barn exploded in this room with all the chenille pillows on the floor. The women are painting the henna tattoos on the Lady in Red because it's her wedding night. A little girl comments that Meriam will do all her painting when she gets married. Lady in Red asks if the little girl is "already asked for." Little girl replies that Meriam will be first because she's the oldest sister. Cut to Meriam looking unhappy, and she comments that she won't be getting married anytime soon. Lady in Red says that will change when she's asked for. Meriam wonders if it bothers Lady in Red to marry someone she hardly knows. Lady in Red counters that she knows him because she's "sat with him twice." Meriam ain't buying what Lady in Red's selling. Lady in Red says that love comes later, and that's "normal." Meriam doesn't want to live like that. Lady in Red says that's not how it works. Meriam vows not to get married until she loves someone and he loves her.

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Oh, Those Wacky Muslims

by Kim February 26, 2001
The Princess & the Marine The movie opens with some military-type music playing while a military vehicle rolls through a Middle Eastern town. Inside the vehicle, Zack (and don't think I'm going to bother finding out his name in this movie, because he'll always be Zack to me) reads from a book entitled Bahrain. He informs his fellow passengers that most of the high-ranking officials in Bahrain have the same last name -- Al Khalifa. One of his friends says that they get the picture, and Zack states the obvious (and not for the last time) -- "it's a royal family." A bunch of Middle Eastern-dressed extras wander around outside, except for one fat American tourist. Heh. Or maybe that was just a guy who got lost on the studio tour and snuck onto the lot somehow. Back inside the vehicle, Zack says that the family has been ruling Bahrain for "three hundred years," and his hick friend comments that maybe in that length of time, the family could have come up with "some new names." Um, hello, hick? It's their last name. It's not as if they're going to change it. I hate the hick already. Other friend teases Zack about reading the stupid guidebook (and word, other friend) and Zack says that he likes to "learn about new things." Like underage foreign girls? Oh, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The military vehicle enters a base of some sort. A guy who looks like Tom Skerritt orders them all out of the vehicle. He tells them that they are in Manai Plaza, "the most secure military residence in the Gulf." Zack and friends will be living there as well as guarding it. Tom Skerritt says that it's "a Muslim country, so no booze and keep it zipped." Oh, those wacky military guys with their instructions. He ends his rant by informing the troops "this is a totally different culture." "Funny" cut to Mad About You being shown on a television with the credits in Arabic. Ugh, it's the Mabel years. A pretty girl watches the show and laughs, then her mother comes up and calls her Meriam, so this is the princess. Meriam grabs a tray of cookies from a passing servant, and then answers the door (which is actually a giant gate), welcoming a female visitor to her "house of henna." Strange comment, but it all becomes clear in a moment, so hang on. The two girls walk into the house, giggling, and the house is gigantic with marble floors and chandeliers and such. So, she's a princess and she's rich. Got it. The two girls enter a room where a bunch of women are sitting around painting henna tattoos on a Lady in Red. It looks like a Pottery Barn exploded in this room with all the chenille pillows on the floor. The women are painting the henna tattoos on the Lady in Red because it's her wedding night. A little girl comments that Meriam will do all her painting when she gets married. Lady in Red asks if the little girl is "already asked for." Little girl replies that Meriam will be first because she's the oldest sister. Cut to Meriam looking unhappy, and she comments that she won't be getting married anytime soon. Lady in Red says that will change when she's asked for. Meriam wonders if it bothers Lady in Red to marry someone she hardly knows. Lady in Red counters that she knows him because she's "sat with him twice." Meriam ain't buying what Lady in Red's selling. Lady in Red says that love comes later, and that's "normal." Meriam doesn't want to live like that. Lady in Red says that's not how it works. Meriam vows not to get married until she loves someone and he loves her.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

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