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The Reagans, Part I

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Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Argle Bargle? Or Fooforah?
Fade to racks of clothes in a wardrobe department. Nancy is going through outfits looking for something else to wear for a part. The wardrobe lady says that Nancy's playing a housewife; her clothes have to say "housewife." Can the dress say, "housewife with a nice ass"? The wardrobe woman is reading a magazine and spots a mention of Nancy in Modern Screen. The article says that Nancy is dating Ronnie. But it also says that Ronnie can't forget his perfect love with Jane Wyman. "Sorry, honey," the wardrobe lady says. She hands Nancy some padding to make her look pregnant for Act 2. Cut to a creeping shot toward an open bathroom door. We hear Nancy whining about Ronnie and Jane Wyman. She asks Ronnie, who isn't there, why Jane threw him out on his ear if they were so perfect together. We enter the bathroom and see Nancy neck-high in a bubble bath saying that Jane Wyman only cares about her career, and thank God she won that Oscar because maybe now she'll shut up for a while. That bubble bath must have extra catty in it. Nancy tells Imaginary Ronnie that Jane never loved him the way Nancy would love him. All right, I'm officially creeped out here on behalf of all men. Nancy says she'd even love Ronnie if he wasn't a star. She says it is true that Ronnie talks too much. From the looks of things, it's Nancy that's doing most of the talking. Even when nobody's around. Cut to Yearling Row, where every year, a Yearling is slaughtered for its precious asshair. Ronnie, Nancy and two kids are riding horses. Ronnie tells Nancy to use those reins and show him who's boss. He didn't know she'd take that to mean Ron and not the horse for the next thirty years. Nancy tells the two kids, on either side of her, that if she fell off the horse, she'd kill herself. The boy says dad would save her. He saved seventy-seven people from drowning when he was a lifeguard. The girl asks Nancy if she ever won an Oscar. Even the horses are embarrassed for Nancy. The girl says her mommy won an Oscar for Johnny Belinda. Is that like Johnny Dangerously? Because that one I've seen. Nancy says that's special. The boy says he's special too because he's adopted. Oh, that kid is in for some beatings in the schoolyard. Nancy's not impressed. Later on the same day, Nancy and Ron are on a small blanket while the kids scamper. Ron explains that being a lifeguard made for some of the best times of his life. He saved seventy-seven lives in seven years. That's a long-ass lifeguard stint. He should look like George Hamilton. Ron credits God; he was just a scrawny kid from Dixon, Illinois, raised over a bank. When his parents asked him if he thought money grew on trees, he could just say it grew downstairs. Nancy notes that he never talks about his family. He cuts off the conversation and calls "Mermy" and "Mike" to come back so that they can head home. Ron is dressed like he's going on safari.

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Mondo Extra
The Reagans, Part I

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Argle Bargle? Or Fooforah?

Fade to racks of clothes in a wardrobe department. Nancy is going through outfits looking for something else to wear for a part. The wardrobe lady says that Nancy's playing a housewife; her clothes have to say "housewife." Can the dress say, "housewife with a nice ass"? The wardrobe woman is reading a magazine and spots a mention of Nancy in Modern Screen. The article says that Nancy is dating Ronnie. But it also says that Ronnie can't forget his perfect love with Jane Wyman. "Sorry, honey," the wardrobe lady says. She hands Nancy some padding to make her look pregnant for Act 2.

Cut to a creeping shot toward an open bathroom door. We hear Nancy whining about Ronnie and Jane Wyman. She asks Ronnie, who isn't there, why Jane threw him out on his ear if they were so perfect together. We enter the bathroom and see Nancy neck-high in a bubble bath saying that Jane Wyman only cares about her career, and thank God she won that Oscar because maybe now she'll shut up for a while. That bubble bath must have extra catty in it. Nancy tells Imaginary Ronnie that Jane never loved him the way Nancy would love him. All right, I'm officially creeped out here on behalf of all men. Nancy says she'd even love Ronnie if he wasn't a star. She says it is true that Ronnie talks too much. From the looks of things, it's Nancy that's doing most of the talking. Even when nobody's around.

Cut to Yearling Row, where every year, a Yearling is slaughtered for its precious asshair. Ronnie, Nancy and two kids are riding horses. Ronnie tells Nancy to use those reins and show him who's boss. He didn't know she'd take that to mean Ron and not the horse for the next thirty years. Nancy tells the two kids, on either side of her, that if she fell off the horse, she'd kill herself. The boy says dad would save her. He saved seventy-seven people from drowning when he was a lifeguard. The girl asks Nancy if she ever won an Oscar. Even the horses are embarrassed for Nancy. The girl says her mommy won an Oscar for Johnny Belinda. Is that like Johnny Dangerously? Because that one I've seen. Nancy says that's special. The boy says he's special too because he's adopted. Oh, that kid is in for some beatings in the schoolyard. Nancy's not impressed.

Later on the same day, Nancy and Ron are on a small blanket while the kids scamper. Ron explains that being a lifeguard made for some of the best times of his life. He saved seventy-seven lives in seven years. That's a long-ass lifeguard stint. He should look like George Hamilton. Ron credits God; he was just a scrawny kid from Dixon, Illinois, raised over a bank. When his parents asked him if he thought money grew on trees, he could just say it grew downstairs. Nancy notes that he never talks about his family. He cuts off the conversation and calls "Mermy" and "Mike" to come back so that they can head home. Ron is dressed like he's going on safari.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Next

Mondo Extra

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