Stee: Jessica Biel's a whore. I'll say it again. Jessica Biel's a whore. And Pacey is massive. And denim is huge this year. Pamie: Denim is huge. Stee: Fyvush Finkel is a whore. Pamie: Fyvush Finkel is in denim.Lil' Bow Wow and Eden's Crush intro Usher. Lil' Bow Wow says, "Give it up for Us-ah." Usher sings. There are flames and a car on stage and a little building with a balcony. He dances a lot. There are girls dancing around behind him. The song is something about a girl reminding him of a girl he once knew. Okay. We tease the next segment, including Cedric The Entertainer talking to two girls we don't know. Commercials.
Stee: You know Lil' Bow Wow fucked them all. Pamie: "Us-ah"? Stee: Is that Sisqo? Pamie: No, it's Us-ah. Stee: He can dance. Pamie: There's a fire on stage. Someone might want to look into that. Stee: Sisqo is pissed because Sisqo has face cancer and Usher's album is doing better than his. Pamie: Name three hits by Usher. Bosie: "Thong Song." Stee: That's Sisqo. Pamie: That's Sisqo. Bosie: Okay. Um, "My Way." Pamie: That's Frank Sinatra. Stee: No, that's Limp Bizkit. Bosie: I used to have the CD. There's "My Way." I don't fucking know. There's more than just one song on the damn thing. Look it up. I know it's "My Way" and...shit, I don't remember. Pamie: But you bought the CD. Bosie: Yeah, well, it had three songs I liked on there.
Pamie: Why is Carrot Top still around?
Stee: I know. He does college tours.
Pamie: That's no excuse.
Stee: Oh, my God.
Pamie: Yikes. No! That's so not funny!
Stee: I know!
Pamie: Look how everyone hates him! That's what brings the world together. It's what we all have in common. We all hate Carrot Top.
Stee: What'd he say?
Pamie: Oops, I did it again.
Stee: Oh, fuck , I hate Carrot Top.
Pamie: Who are those people?
Stee: Mandy Moore and her boyfriend. There's Sisqo with his face cancer.
Pamie: I can't believe you recognized Sisqo with a baseball cap over his eyes and a Band-Aid over his face.
Stee: Sam Rockwell is cool.
Pamie: Why isn't Vin Diesel the Choice Sleazebag?
Stee: I want John Lithgow to win.
Pamie: He's not there.
Bosie: Stupid Rock.
Stee: Punch him! Just punch him, Rock!
Pamie: Hit him with the surfboard. Gain my respect, Rock. Hit Carrot Top in the eye.
Stee: Poke Carrot Top in the eye.
Next is Ben Affleck and Tony Hawk and Usher, who will perform, and we go now to commercials, once again. During the commercials, they tease Temptation Island 2. Crap. We forgot about that for a second. Crap.
Pamie: Tony Hawk!
Stee: He's cool.
Bosie: Oh, man. How old is he? Is he fifty?
Stee: He's thirty-three.
Pamie: He's gotta be older than that.
Stee: He's face-planted about a thousand times. Is that Cedric the Entertainer?
Pamie: I think so.
Stee: I'm gonna call myself Stee the Actor/Writer.
We're back. Two ladies from Mad TV come out with the chick from Grounded For Life -- the daughter who yells a lot because someone once told her it was amusing. People in the audience pretend they care. They do a sketch where they said they hosted the High School Awards last night, and they show The Lunch Lady winner and Choice Teacher Hottie. It's terrible. Choice TV Drama. 7th Heaven, Dawson's Creek, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Boston Public.