Stee: Okay, this Kerry Washington needs a new PR guy because I have no idea who she is. Pamie: And you know everybody. Stee: Dream is uncomfortable. Pamie: I just rubbed my eyes and opened them just now and I thought Dream were the Spice Girls and we had gone back in time. Stee: Nobody saw crazy/beautiful. Pamie: No. Stee: One day we'll rent some of these movies. Pamie: Man, how is it we didn't see any of these and yet last week I had to watch The Fast and the Furious? Bosie: I thought it was going to be good. Stee: The kids love Vin Diesel. Bosie: Man, when is this thing over? Stee: You just have to breathe through it, Bos. Bosie: This fucking sucks. I'm gonna have another cigarette. Stee: You didn't fit in in high school, Reese, because you were a fucking movie star! Pamie: Was she? Stee: She made Freeway when she was, like, fifteen. Pamie: She did? Stee: I'm pretty sure. Pamie: Are you just making things up now and stating them as fact? Stee: Go smoke with your sister. Pamie: I'd like to, but I quit. Stee: It was quieter when you smoked.Pamela Anderson and David Spade come out, looking like trash. David Spade goes for the unexpected joke, talking about Pamela's tits. Wow. She makes a dirty joke about rockers being "right up [her] alley." Choice Rock Group. Blink 182. Limp Bizkit. No Doubt. Creed. Pam calls David Spade "Mrs. Butterworth." Huh?
Stee: White trizzash and wannabe white trizzash. Pamie: She's got...sum 47...sum 41...inside her...aw, fuck it. Stee: I see where you were going. Bosie: I can't believe Limp Bizkit isn't going to win anything. Pamie: This just in! Limp Bizkit out with the teens! Stee: Nah. Bosie: Yeah, because their parents told them why it sucks because every other word is "fuck." Stee: Those teens are getting a favor. Bosie: Oh, my God. If they play this stupid fucking song by Creed one more fucking time I'm going to kill someone. I don't fucking care about his kid. Stee: They're so goddamn Christian. Pamie: You two aren't good for each other. Stee: Well, I'm officially going to Hell now. I just said "goddamn Christian." Pamie: You sure did. May God have mercy on your soul. I had that jacket Pamela Anderson's wearing in junior high. I saved so much money to buy it. I don't understand this look everyone's doing. It's white trash junior high Jackson, Mississippi prep pre-teen fashion. What sense does that make?
Stee: Yeah, me too. At least Shaggy hasn't performed yet.
Pamie: Oh, my God. Is he going to? Is he going to close the show? Fuck.
Bosie: We can fast-forward that, though, right?
Pamie: Such a headache.
Jennifer Lopez wins and gets Choice Dance Track, too. She tells us that she feels lucky. They show her sad man who gets no mention, and she leaves. Perfect boyfriend for her. Totally in her shadow.
Pamie: I feel like doing my Adam Sandler impression again.
Stee: No. No. Please. No. Don't do it. Make Roosevelt go away.
Pamie: Jennifer Lopez thinks that it's 1973.
Stee: She's just happy Puffy didn't kill her.
Keri Russell says something about hip hop and rock borrowing from each other and intros Eve doing her song with Gwen. There is a subway set and Eve walks through and people dance as she raps. Gwen is sitting on the subway behind a newspaper and she lowers the paper and starts singing. Gwen is dressed slutty and she just skanks around as Eve raps. Sisqo seat-dances. Gwen keeps hoing. Eve keeps rapping. Gwen is singing in the wrong key, it seems. A toddler in the house dances. They finish, hopefully determined to never let their DJ shout out during the whole song again.
Pamie: Eve? This song's good for teens.
Stee: Why? What's it about?
Pamie: I think it's about having sex.
Stee: What makes you think that? When does she say that? When does she say, "Let's have sex"?
Pamie: Well, it has dirty words in it, anyway. And, "Let me blow your mind."
Stee: You lie a lot, don't you?
Pamie: What are you talking about?
Stee: You make these grand generalizations about things and you state them as fact and then I believe you and then I look like an ass.
Pamie: That is not entirely my fault.
Stee: Your girl Gwen turned into a skank.
Pamie: Gwen Stefani wears denim.
Stee: She also likes Bush. I thought this song was about leaving someone.
Pamie: No, I think it's about finally getting your turn with someone?
Pamie: But it sounds like, "I know I have a reputation of being a skank, but don't listen to that bullshit."