Pamie: That seat filler looked really familiar. Bosie: Those poseurs aren't punk rock. Stee: This just in! Blink is fake! Bosie: They've gone against everything they should stand for as a punk group. Stee: Yeah, they make Green Day look hard-core.Michelle Trachtenberg from Buffy comes out to present the Extraordinary Achievement Award. It's Sarah Michelle Gellar; we see her holding hands with Jr., and then we get a montage of her on Buffy and how she changed the perception of girls on TV as being helpless. We are told that the demons she slays can be seen as being symbolic of the difficulties teens go through every day. Totally. She also works with Habitat For Humanity and she has a movie career, too! SMG goes up and tells us to believe in ourselves. She thanks Jr. and we cut to him, crying, most likely because his new baseball movie made fourteen dollars at the box office. Commercials.
Bosie: Oh, God. More of this girl's nose. Stee: Kristy Swanson is so angry somewhere. Angry every day of her life. Pamie: I know. Stee: How can she shovel around that nose? Watch out, kids! There's a huge nose! Bosie: Heh. Stee: Shit, the tape wasn't recording during all of that Sarah Michelle Gellar smack talk we were just doing. Pamie: Shit. Stee: Okay. We were talking lots of shit and then Freddie Prinze Jr. was all crying over how beautiful Sarah Michelle Gellar is with her humanity.Choice Late Night Show is SNL, we are told, as Chris Kattan goes out with *NSYNC. Kattan is dressed like a pop star and he monkeys around. Choice Male Hottie is Justin. Ben Affleck, in the audience, looks stunned. Kattan mugs and dances. SMG mouths, "I love Chris Kattan so much." J.Lo laughs. Kattan dances. Choice Wipeout is next. Rob Schneider in The Animal. Drew Barrymore in Charlie's Angels. Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality. Michelle Rodriguez in The Fast And The Furious.
Pamie: There's Chris Kattan. Stee: The kids love Chris Kattan. Bosie: Kids on coke love Chris Kattan. ["My sister loves Chris Kattan. I don't know why." -- Wing Chun]
Stee: Ihm. How much of that did you just make up and state as fact?
Pamie: Most of it.
Stee: Thought so.
Eve and Gwen both win awards, and Eve thanks Gwen and Dr. Dre and the voters. Gwen thanks Eve for being "so cute and for being [her] friend, yeah."
Pamie: Oh, I really do. I have a headache from all of this screaming.
Stee: So does Lisa Left Eye.
Mila Kunis and Kerry Washington come out. Washington won for Breakout Performance in Save The Last Dance, we learn. They intro Choice Movie of the Summer. crazy/beautiful, Legally Blonde, America's Sweethearts, Shrek. Legally Blonde wins and Reese Witherspoon goes up. The Dream girls look pissed, for some reason. Reese pretends to be very surprised. She thanks us for voting, says she was excited when she read the script about a girl who never fit in because she didn't in high school, and leaves. Commercials.
Stee: Okay, this Kerry Washington needs a new PR guy because I have no idea who she is.
Pamie: And you know everybody.
Stee: Dream is uncomfortable.
Pamie: I just rubbed my eyes and opened them just now and I thought Dream were the Spice Girls and we had gone back in time.
Stee: Nobody saw crazy/beautiful.
Stee: One day we'll rent some of these movies.
Pamie: Man, how is it we didn't see any of these and yet last week I had to watch The Fast and the Furious?
Bosie: I thought it was going to be good.
Stee: The kids love Vin Diesel.
Bosie: Man, when is this thing over?
Stee: You just have to breathe through it, Bos.
Bosie: This fucking sucks. I'm gonna have another cigarette.
Stee: You didn't fit in in high school, Reese, because you were a fucking movie star!
Pamie: Was she?
Stee: She made Freeway when she was, like, fifteen.
Pamie: She did?
Stee: I'm pretty sure.
Pamie: Are you just making things up now and stating them as fact?
Stee: Go smoke with your sister.
Pamie: I'd like to, but I quit.
Stee: It was quieter when you smoked.
Pamela Anderson and David Spade come out, looking like trash. David Spade goes for the unexpected joke, talking about Pamela's tits. Wow. She makes a dirty joke about rockers being "right up [her] alley." Choice Rock Group. Blink 182. Limp Bizkit. No Doubt. Creed. Pam calls David Spade "Mrs. Butterworth." Huh?