Mondo Extra
The Teen Choice Awards 2001

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!
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We're Now Anti-Choice
Bosie: He's telling kids to not have sex until you're older? Pamie: Yeah. Or he's telling them to shave their pubes. I don't know. I don't care. Look! It's ending now! Jennifer Love Hewitt tells us it's over and says, "You guys made some great choices here tonight, so make sure you do the same thing when it comes to life." She'll see us next year, she says. We certainly hope not.
Bosie: I don't need Jennifer Love Hewitt to tell me how to live. Stee: I was about to have sex and do some crack, but then I remembered what Jennifer Love Hewitt said. She said to make smart choices. I'm gonna do that. Pamie: My eye hurts. I have a headache in my eye. I think the Teen Choice Awards just gave me strep and mono. Stee: We're done. We're done. Any last words? Pamie: Kill me. Stee: Okay, stop the tape. I can't listen anymore. Pamie: Kill me. Stee: Turn it off. Pamie: Kill. Stee: Santana's dead. What do you have to say about it. Pamie: Really? Stee: No. Pamie: This just in: Teen Choice Awards are out, and the VMA's are in! Woo!

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
The Teen Choice Awards 2001

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
We're Now Anti-Choice

Bosie: Goddamn. She looks fucked up.
Stee: Hee.
Bosie: God. I hate him. I didn't even go see any of his movies anymore. Not even Big Daddy. But Chris Rock, now, he's funny.
Stee: But Adam Sandler's going to win because he's there.
Bosie: Well, shit.

Adam Sandler wins. It's the first ever of this award. History! He takes out a four-page note, and reads it in his baby talk. *NSYNC think this is funny; how -- when we've been hearing him do this shit since Remote Control? He talks about teens and how kids used to be kids and now they have puberty too early and then reads a poem saying you should stay pre-pubescent. He talks about "fuzzy-wuzzies." He continues. He continues. It. Goes. On. He pretends he has no pubic hair and he's still a kid. He says he has a "hair-free willy" and walks off to bewildered applause.

Stee: I hope you're saving your money, Adam.
Pamie: "I am timeless!"
Stee: Aren't we done? We're done!
Pamie: Come on, he's funny.
Stee: No.
Bosie: Kids are just screaming for puberty out there.
Stee: What?
Pamie: What is he talking about?
Bosie: Pubic hair.
Pamie: Great.
Stee: They just screamed for "thirty-four years old."
Pamie: And because he shaves his pubes?
Stee: Ew. Oh, God. Adam. For real.
Pamie: He doesn't want little kids to have sex. Like Shaggy telling people to Make Love.
Stee: You're defending Adam Sandler by bringing up Shaggy?
Bosie: He's telling kids to not have sex until you're older?
Pamie: Yeah. Or he's telling them to shave their pubes. I don't know. I don't care. Look! It's ending now!

Jennifer Love Hewitt tells us it's over and says, "You guys made some great choices here tonight, so make sure you do the same thing when it comes to life." She'll see us next year, she says. We certainly hope not.

Bosie: I don't need Jennifer Love Hewitt to tell me how to live.
Stee: I was about to have sex and do some crack, but then I remembered what Jennifer Love Hewitt said. She said to make smart choices. I'm gonna do that.
Pamie: My eye hurts. I have a headache in my eye. I think the Teen Choice Awards just gave me strep and mono.
Stee: We're done. We're done. Any last words?

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