MONDO EXTRAS

Lured into a false sense of actually being semi-relevant as the breeding ground for Ben Stiller's Derek Zoolander character, the VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards are back again, with all the nipple shots, the B-list celebs, and the Lenny Kravitz you come to expect from VH1, but this time with the added pretentious notion that the awards are somehow symbolic of America's resilience in the face of the terrorist attacks, rather than acknowledging that the show exists simply because MTV got all the good award shows, and because gay men like to dress up and be fabulous in public.

Stee: Test. Test. Test.
Pamie: Okay. These are the VH1/ Vogue Fashion awards 2001. Ugh. I'm already exhausted.

We start off with a little "arrival" montage. Cameras. A model. Gwen, dressed like a senile woman escaping from a rest home for the evening because she thinks she has a date with Rock Hudson. A model. P. Doody. Renée Z., looking scary skinny. Calvin Klein. Destiny's Child, tired as fuck. Hilary Swank and her sad husband...whatever his name is. Chad someone, or something. (She can't even remember. Rob can't even remember.) That annoying Keys lady. Mark Wahlberg. Macy Gray. Then Gwyneth, high on multiple drugs, introduces a Kravitz number on top of a building in Manhattan.

Stee: I think these are the Bad Fashion Awards. Ew.
Pamie: Who is that? Courtney Love?
Stee: Nancy someone. Nancy Sinatra? Marky Mark. Macy Gray looking like Liberace.
Pamie: Gwyneth Paltrow, looking like a man.
Stee: Gwyneth Paltrow! She looks like Twiggy!
Pamie: It scares me that you know that.
Stee: A broken Twiggy.
Pamie: Still scares me.
Stee: Gwyneth's on a lot.
Pamie: Of drugs?
Stee: Yeah.
Pamie: Oh! I didn't know we were going to have to sit through...performances by Lenny Kravitz.
Stee: Of course we will. Maybe Mira Sorvino looked all sad when we saw her this afternoon at The Coffee Bean because she didn't get invited to this thing.
Pamie: Why is Lenny Kravitz in every awards show?
Stee: You're still going on about this? You've been upset about this for years. Let it go.
Pamie: Every one. Ever.
Stee: What else is he gonna do?
Pamie: He doesn't ever actually win anything. He's just always there. There's no difference between him and Macy Gray anymore. Not with that wind.

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Lured into a false sense of actually being semi-relevant as the breeding ground for Ben Stiller's Derek Zoolander character, the VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards are back again, with all the nipple shots, the B-list celebs, and the Lenny Kravitz you come to expect from VH1, but this time with the added pretentious notion that the awards are somehow symbolic of America's resilience in the face of the terrorist attacks, rather than acknowledging that the show exists simply because MTV got all the good award shows, and because gay men like to dress up and be fabulous in public.

Stee: Test. Test. Test. Pamie: Okay. These are the VH1/ Vogue Fashion awards 2001. Ugh. I'm already exhausted.

We start off with a little "arrival" montage. Cameras. A model. Gwen, dressed like a senile woman escaping from a rest home for the evening because she thinks she has a date with Rock Hudson. A model. P. Doody. Renée Z., looking scary skinny. Calvin Klein. Destiny's Child, tired as fuck. Hilary Swank and her sad husband...whatever his name is. Chad someone, or something. (She can't even remember. Rob can't even remember.) That annoying Keys lady. Mark Wahlberg. Macy Gray. Then Gwyneth, high on multiple drugs, introduces a Kravitz number on top of a building in Manhattan.

Stee: I think these are the Bad Fashion Awards. Ew. Pamie: Who is that? Courtney Love? Stee: Nancy someone. Nancy Sinatra? Marky Mark. Macy Gray looking like Liberace. Pamie: Gwyneth Paltrow, looking like a man. Stee: Gwyneth Paltrow! She looks like Twiggy! Pamie: It scares me that you know that. Stee: A broken Twiggy. Pamie: Still scares me. Stee: Gwyneth's on a lot. Pamie: Of drugs? Stee: Yeah. Pamie: Oh! I didn't know we were going to have to sit through...performances by Lenny Kravitz. Stee: Of course we will. Maybe Mira Sorvino looked all sad when we saw her this afternoon at The Coffee Bean because she didn't get invited to this thing. Pamie: Why is Lenny Kravitz in every awards show? Stee: You're still going on about this? You've been upset about this for years. Let it go. Pamie: Every one. Ever. Stee: What else is he gonna do? Pamie: He doesn't ever actually win anything. He's just always there. There's no difference between him and Macy Gray anymore. Not with that wind.

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