MONDO EXTRAS

We're Too Sexy for This Recap

by Pamie October 28, 2001
The VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards 2001
Stee: Oh, my God. He looks like Bobby Brown.
Pamie: He is Bobby Brown.
Stee: Derek Zoolander. Oh, man. That was part of the settlement, I bet, being able to appear. Is this a commercial, or the show?
Pamie: Commercial.
Stee: Hard to tell sometimes.
Pamie: I understand. This show has a lot of commercials.
Stee: Are you complaining?
Pamie: Absolutely not.

We're back. Trump intros an award presentation from Derek Zoolander. It's on video. Stiller schticks that people should sit and stop clapping though no one is. He says he was going to come, but he got lost and he is somewhere that he smells muffins and there are bats. He is giving out an award for a male model, but the award has a funny name. He wins the award and acts surprised. You get it, yes? Yes. He says he can't accept the award because of deep religious beliefs that he and his handlers are deciding on right now. He does his "I'm scared" ending and it fizzles. Over.

Stee: All right. Prediction. Right now are they making a Zoolander 2, yes or no?
Pamie: Yes. It's already been written.
Stee: Really?
Pamie: I'm sure of it.
Stee: See, I think no.
Pamie: His Derek Zoolander is turning into Dr. Evil.
Stee: You mean that it gets annoying after a while?
Pamie: No, I mean his accent is turning into a Dr. Evil impersonation.
Stee: What's he talking about?
Pamie: He's going to say, "Derek Zoolander."
Stee: Did you write this sketch?
Pamie: I did! Aren't you proud of me?
Stee: No. That's a bad laugh track behind him.
Pamie: Yes.
Stee: Oh, my God.
Pamie: Could Jimmy Fallon come back out now and sing "U Can't Touch This" for forty-five minutes?

Trump intros Marc Anthony. He, in turn, intros Niki Taylor, who is not dead, but looks tall and broken. People clap, but not as much as they should. The award is for "Fresh Face." Marc Anthony says something about thespians, and that they should take time out to try to accessorize. It's Josh Hartnett. The video starts. He disses other actors, saying that other actors just want to be famous and they should remove the perks and just get down to acting but then he got a role and welcomed the money. What a fucking tool. ["Oh, like you're so superior, Pearl Harbor. God." -- Wing Chun] He comes out dressed like Stee going to pick up a video. He says people are surprised and he hopes to be stylish in the future.

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We're Too Sexy for This Recap

by Pamie October 28, 2001
The VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards 2001
Stee: All right. Prediction. Right now are they making a Zoolander 2, yes or no? Pamie: Yes. It's already been written. Stee: Really? Pamie: I'm sure of it. Stee: See, I think no. Pamie: His Derek Zoolander is turning into Dr. Evil. Stee: You mean that it gets annoying after a while? Pamie: No, I mean his accent is turning into a Dr. Evil impersonation. Stee: What's he talking about? Pamie: He's going to say, "Derek Zoolander." Stee: Did you write this sketch? Pamie: I did! Aren't you proud of me? Stee: No. That's a bad laugh track behind him. Pamie: Yes. Stee: Oh, my God. Pamie: Could Jimmy Fallon come back out now and sing "U Can't Touch This" for forty-five minutes?
Trump intros Marc Anthony. He, in turn, intros Niki Taylor, who is not dead, but looks tall and broken. People clap, but not as much as they should. The award is for "Fresh Face." Marc Anthony says something about thespians, and that they should take time out to try to accessorize. It's Josh Hartnett. The video starts. He disses other actors, saying that other actors just want to be famous and they should remove the perks and just get down to acting but then he got a role and welcomed the money. What a fucking tool. ["Oh, like you're so superior, Pearl Harbor. God." -- Wing Chun] He comes out dressed like Stee going to pick up a video. He says people are surprised and he hopes to be stylish in the future.
Stee: My friend Todd's on Nikki this week. Pamie: Niki Taylor's all right! Stee: Oh. Different Nik(k)i. Pamie: Yikes. Stee: Oh, my Gosh! She's not dead. Pamie: She was not well. Stee: Yay! Pamie: She's fine. Stee: That's a Niki robot, though. Pamie: Don't you think she's got a few pins in her now? Stee: Yeah. Pamie: She's, like, seven inches taller now. "Perfection!" Stee: "Victim of the Year"! I think she's brain-damaged. Pamie: She doesn't look too good. Like she's not here. Stee: She didn't get the standing O that she deserves. Pamie: For living? Stee: For getting in a car crash. Pamie: What is Josh Hartnett winning, here? Stee: Uh. "Best Thespian." Pamie: What? What? Stee: I don't know. Poor Niki's leaning on him.

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