MONDO EXTRAS

We're Too Sexy for This Recap

by Pamie October 28, 2001
The VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards 2001

Stee: So Elton John...oh, man. He got some work done.
Pamie: Yeah?
Stee: Uh...yeah. You know what? I hope I never have a type of designer.
Pamie: Well, I do, but it's Old Navy. And Delia's. I wear a lot of Delia's. I'm hoping for some sort of deal with them where they let me wear only their clothes and people ask who I'm wearing and I say Delia's and then I always have cute t-shirts. I'm a celebrity, right? If enough people click to Delia's and say they want to wear Delia's because Pamie wears Delia's, I can get free clothes, right?
Stee: Are you doing an ad campaign during our recap?
Pamie: I'm poor, Stee. I miss shopping. I want clothing. I act like I'm too cool for fashion because I'm unemployed. Because of our shitty job market. Because there's a war. I need free clothes.
Stee: Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Pamie: No. I'm currently wearing Delia's and pants by American Eagle.
Stee: My shirt was in a Jetrag one-dollar bin and my pants I got for, like, five dollars because they were made at a sweatshop.
Pamie: Hard times.
Stee: Hard times. That woman looks like a mannequin.
Pamie: That one does, too. They all do. They look like they're made out of plastic.
Stee: I would not like to make love to that woman.
Pamie: No?
Stee: No.
Pamie: Because she's taller than you are?
Stee: Well, I don't think she is, but it's also because I think those kinds of bodies are disgusting.
Pamie: This just in: Stee hates the skinny.

Stee: Well, like that, yeah. Someone's swinging.
Pamie: Is it two people? Is that the designer? Oh, he's like Mike Myers's Ritalin kid.
Stee: Oh, that's a de la Guarda guy. It has to be.
Pamie: Oh.
Stee: He just picked up the designer, right?
Pamie: I don't know what's happening anymore.
Stee: Betsey Johnson just loves everything.
Pamie: That's the same footage they already used of her clapping. Oh! That's a man!
Stee: Yeah.
Pamie: The de la Guarda guy picked up the designer, who is actually a man and not a woman even though he's a woman...
Stee: Who is kissing a woman that looks like a man.

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We're Too Sexy for This Recap

by Pamie October 28, 2001
The VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards 2001 Pamie: Hard times. Stee: Hard times. That woman looks like a mannequin. Pamie: That one does, too. They all do. They look like they're made out of plastic. Stee: I would not like to make love to that woman. Pamie: No? Stee: No. Pamie: Because she's taller than you are? Stee: Well, I don't think she is, but it's also because I think those kinds of bodies are disgusting. Pamie: This just in: Stee hates the skinny.
Stee: Well, like that, yeah. Someone's swinging. Pamie: Is it two people? Is that the designer? Oh, he's like Mike Myers's Ritalin kid. Stee: Oh, that's a de la Guarda guy. It has to be. Pamie: Oh. Stee: He just picked up the designer, right? Pamie: I don't know what's happening anymore. Stee: Betsey Johnson just loves everything. Pamie: That's the same footage they already used of her clapping. Oh! That's a man! Stee: Yeah. Pamie: The de la Guarda guy picked up the designer, who is actually a man and not a woman even though he's a woman... Stee: Who is kissing a woman that looks like a man. Pamie: This is so confusing. Stee: This is the stuff of Erasure songs. Pamie: It's like a weird dream. Is that the designer of the year? Did he just win all of a sudden? Oh. Rebel Designer. Stee: He's got something on his lip. Pamie: It's so appropriate he's rebel designer because of the September 11th attacks? Is that what they just said? Stee: No, he's Geri Halliwell, right? Pamie: It's like, that's what happened to Hedwig. Stee: We need untamable fashion in this war time? Is that what they said?
Sandra Bullock is next. She gets a standing ovation, for some reason. She paraphrases John Steinbeck about New York becoming your home. She intros Mayor Giuliani. He comes out wearing a suit and a pink polka-dotted tie. He gives his normal speech about New York's spirit and the fire department and EMS workers and the worst of humanity and the best of humanity and rescuing people and there are terrible edits of clapping at the wrong places. He says that our hearts are broken but still beating. We choose to live in freedom, he says, and then thanks the fashion industry and says we're unified and New York is open for business and then he introduces reps for the fashion council of something. It's Calvin Klein and Kate Spade and Kenneth Cole and other name designers and Giuliani leaves to go make his one millionth speech this month. The designers, except for Kate Spade, all wear this ugly heart/flag t-shirt. They announce that they want people to shop, and furthermore they've made a t-shirt you can buy at a store and the money will go to whatever. Stupid VH1 has its logo over the website where you can buy the shirt, but it might be Style.com. We can't see. VH1 are logo terrorists. The t-shirt is a "Fashion for America" t-shirt. It's very ugly. Sandra Bullock then intros John Mellencamp with India.Arie. He is part of Stee's favorite non-dirty joke ever, which will be told shortly. They sing, and then it's commercial time.

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