MONDO EXTRAS

We're Too Sexy for This Recap

by Pamie October 28, 2001
The VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards 2001

Pamie: Is Angie Harmon dating Howard Stern?
Stee: Nope.
Pamie: Is that Angie Everhart?
Stee: Nope. Neither. But yeah, it's Angie Everhart you're thinking of. He's dating one of the two volleyball girls from Flirting With Disaster.
Pamie: Really?
Stee: Yeah.
Pamie: Who's he?
Stee: Jason Snemnomenm.
Pamie: How do you spell that?
Stee: With a "Z."
Pamie: This Sex and the City montage is all from one episode.
Stee: They dress terribly on this show.
Pamie: She cut her hair.
Stee: No.
Pamie: Or is it tucked in?
Stee: Oh, yeah.
Pamie: She cut it. That's why I don't cut my hair short. That's what it'd look like. Isn't that awful?
Stee: Well...
Pamie: What?
Stee: Well. Dot. Dot. Dot.
Pamie: Their style.
Stee: Half pimp. Half whore. Half seven-year-old girl. Half skater.
Pamie: All horrible.
Stee: You can't spell "horrible" without "whore."
Pamie: No, you really can't.

Out comes Hilary Swank. She babbles about "getting into the role" of presenting the "Designer of the Year" award. It goes to Marc Jacobs. He comes out. (Ha.) He talks about New York, making a bad joke about Hillary Clinton and George Clinton being at the same party. He thanks editors and stylists and designers and leaves. (No, he doesn't thank leaves; we mean he leaves the stage.) Swank intros Sugar Ray. They sing "When It's Over." McGrath cannot sing live. Why didn't he lip synch? It sounds like bad karaoke.

Stee: Hilary Swank.
Pamie: She's still a man.
Stee: Is she pregnant?
Pamie: Make her stop talking. Why does she always get to talk for so long? What is she wearing?
Stee: What is she saying? What is she holding?
Pamie: The envelope.
Stee: Okay, it's Tom Ford for crap. Dolce and Gabbana for crap.
Pamie: Stella McCartney for being born.
Stee: Oh, and two other people for crap that we didn't hear. Marc Jacobs is the winner. Look how excited everybody is.
Pamie: Yeah, everybody is so excited. They might almost stand up with excitement. They made a bigger stink about Sandra Bullock farting.

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We're Too Sexy for This Recap

by Pamie October 28, 2001
The VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards 2001 Stee: Stop thanking everyone. Oh, look I just fast-fowarded Marc Jacob's long-ass acceptance speech. Pamie: Oh. Stee: I hate it when that happens. Pamie: And now it'll be over. Stee: NO! What's happening? Pamie: What is she introducing? Stee: No! Pamie: Oh, NO! Why does every award show throw bigger piles of shit at us? Stee: Sugar Ray? Why? NO! Pamie: This can't be happening. When Sugar Ray is closing -- Stee: "When It's Over..." Pamie:-- you know that you're the nineteenth most important award show. Stee: Once again, you know what Sugar Ray means? Pamie: It's over. Stee: Fast-forward. Remember when we first heard this song on the radio? Pamie: And we kept singing "Shut the door, baby" over it. Stee: And "I just want to fly." Pamie: Right. Stee: All of the songs can be sung right over this one and you can add in Smash Mouth songs and Everclear songs. They're all the same damn song. Pamie: Shut the door, baby. Don't say a word. Trump thanks us and tells us to drive carefully.
Stee: Trump gives a shout-out to his dogz. Pamie: Look at that comb-over.
Over credits, the photo booth. Renée is insanely drunk and giggles and slurs "wassup" to the booth when it talks to her. Chris Noth mugs and drinks. Marc Anthony. Mark Wahlberg. Lenny Kravitz plays with his afro. Lil' Kim sweetly talks. A female model knocks and says in a French accent, "Who is there?" all confused. We're confused too, French Model. We're confused, too.
Stee: Renée Zellweger's high. Pamie: They're going to play this three times in a row. We're watching the second airing, and they just said it's going on again. That's three times in a row. I didn't even know Mark Wahlberg was there. Stee: He didn't, either. You know that in his crew he has his own weed roller? There's a guy to make sure there are no stems in his joints. Pamie: "Hello? Hello! Who is funny in the box?" Stee: That stupid-ass model is knocking. "Who is the funny guy?" Pamie: "Hello? Are you fabulous?" Stee: "Is it the tiny Johnny Carson in there?" Pamie: "Who are you wearing, Talking Box?"

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