MONDO EXTRAS

We're Too Sexy for This Recap

by Pamie October 28, 2001
The VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards 2001
Pamie: Shannnnnnnnnna Sha-na-na's my favorite group.
Stee: Shana.
Pamie:You have too many friends with the "Shan." I can't keep them straight.
Stee: This is a Sisqo video.
Pamie:This is more entertaining than any other segment on any awards show we've ever recapped, ever.
Stee: And I'm already bored.
Pamie: Wait. *NSYNC's "Pop" was better.
Stee: No, it wasn't.
Pamie: I'm just trying to be positive. Michael Jackson was in it.
Stee: Yeah, he was broken, though.
Pamie: Well. It's like a special effect.
Stee: I really want him to come out some day and be like, "You know what? I fucked up. I broke myself. I'm sorry."
Pamie: Moby won.
Stee: Oh, fuck all of you. Okay, you'll fly solo for a few minutes.
Pamie: You can't puss out! Where are you going? You can't abandon me! Get back here!
Stee: I'm going to the bathroom.
Pamie: Oh, all alone with Moby. Sad. Scary. Good for Moby, with the new goal. I don't think you can do De La Guarda without glasses. I'm not as funny here without Stee. I hope he comes back soon. Plus I'm talking into a tape recorder all alone in my living room and it's kinda sad.

Calvin Klein comes up. He rasps and lisps about someone being like New York. Oh, it's "Model of the Year." A video of the model. She speaks in an English accent about how difficult it was being seen as the freak in the model world and she was different but then fashion changes. We don't understand, but that's okay. The model is Stella Tennant. ["Ew, her? She's a dude. Seriously, she's the lead singer of Pulp, isn't she?" -- Wing Chun] She's big and ugly in cargo pants and a sharp chin. She thanks her photographer and her husband and what he's had to put up with and she reminds us she's still modeling and leaves.

Pamie: "Model of the Year." This is some really important shit, right here. I do not know who this woman is. No clue. She kind of looks like a man. Which is why she's beautiful. The more you look like a man, the prettier you become. Why? Because all men just want to look at other men. But they want to look at men who look weaker than they are. That's how you become beautiful. Look like a weak man. I'll be holding classes in other life lessons later. You can sign up. Maybe this girl's name is Gisele? Stella Tennant. Stee, model of the year went to Stella Tennant.

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We're Too Sexy for This Recap

by Pamie October 28, 2001
The VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards 2001 Pamie: Well. It's like a special effect. Stee: I really want him to come out some day and be like, "You know what? I fucked up. I broke myself. I'm sorry." Pamie: Moby won. Stee: Oh, fuck all of you. Okay, you'll fly solo for a few minutes. Pamie: You can't puss out! Where are you going? You can't abandon me! Get back here! Stee: I'm going to the bathroom. Pamie: Oh, all alone with Moby. Sad. Scary. Good for Moby, with the new goal. I don't think you can do De La Guarda without glasses. I'm not as funny here without Stee. I hope he comes back soon. Plus I'm talking into a tape recorder all alone in my living room and it's kinda sad. Calvin Klein comes up. He rasps and lisps about someone being like New York. Oh, it's "Model of the Year." A video of the model. She speaks in an English accent about how difficult it was being seen as the freak in the model world and she was different but then fashion changes. We don't understand, but that's okay. The model is Stella Tennant. ["Ew, her? She's a dude. Seriously, she's the lead singer of Pulp, isn't she?" -- Wing Chun] She's big and ugly in cargo pants and a sharp chin. She thanks her photographer and her husband and what he's had to put up with and she reminds us she's still modeling and leaves.
Pamie: "Model of the Year." This is some really important shit, right here. I do not know who this woman is. No clue. She kind of looks like a man. Which is why she's beautiful. The more you look like a man, the prettier you become. Why? Because all men just want to look at other men. But they want to look at men who look weaker than they are. That's how you become beautiful. Look like a weak man. I'll be holding classes in other life lessons later. You can sign up. Maybe this girl's name is Gisele? Stella Tennant. Stee, model of the year went to Stella Tennant. Stee: DAMMIT! DAMMIT! Pamie: Please try not to cry. Stee: DAMMIT! Pamie: I just gave everyone a little life lesson. I figured something out. Stee: Crap. Pamie: I figured out how to be beautiful. Stee: How's that? Pamie: Look like a weak man. Stee: No, if she were a man, she'd look like she was dying of some terrible disease. Pamie: Yeah. Totally battling something. Stee: And losing. Pamie: Losing big-time. Stee: What? I've never seen her. She's ugly.

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