MONDO EXTRAS

Chelsea is next up, and gets seriously beat up by nurse Debbie about her weight and the size of her hips, but she just giggles. I guess in light of the previous scene where she describes her struggles with her weight as a teen, we're supposed to feel sympathetic to her, but resist! Resist! She's the one who came on this godforsaken show to prove she is the most beautiful human on earth, so don't fall into her sad fat girl trap! She makes a reach for the files but stops herself and passes, as do Joel and Ashley. Hadiyyah-Lah, however, peruses her own and CJ's files and gets a big fat F.

Billy gets aces in his hotness measurements, even though Debbie tries to make him feel bad for being older than everyone else at a grizzled 31. He doesn't peek at the files. Monique also passes and is complimented on her perfect proportions despite being in actuality the weirdest-looking person of the bunch, so THHHPPPPPPP to Dr. Palmer's faultless methodology.

Ray gets complimented on his nice head of hair, which he takes to mean he's totally allowed to look through everyone's file. F for you, Ray!

The judges discuss what they've seen and Tiegs says that those who looked at the files aren't automatically out of the competition. WTF? Then what was the point of the challenge, fools? This show is stupid! Another teaser about who is about to face elimination as we head to commersh.

Back at the ranch, Joel THs that he's pretty confident he's going to win this challenge because he is perfect in every way. Except for the way that you're a malicious, misogynist Guido. The judges show up and re-explain the conditions of the challenge. Hadiyyah-Lah THs that she's sure she won't be going home, as Minnillo explains that any score over 85 is considered good-looking, and any one over 95 is star quality. She asks Ray and Monique to step forward. Nolé informs Ray that the doctor said he has a bit of a thin lip but spectacular cheek bones and an incredible eye color. Minnillo tells him his score was 92 and therefore he's safe. She tells Monique that her score is 91.

Next up are Ashley and CJ. Ashley's final beauty score is 94. Meanwhile, CJ is shaking his head, and Cheryl calls him out on it, so he explains that he thinks the whole thing is an irritating load of BS. Funny, that's how I feel about this show! He gets suuuuper defensive and says that the business of measuring beauty disgusts him. I'm not even gonna dignify that hypocritical nonsense with a "no you did not." Oh, wait. Minnillo tells him that for what it's worth, his score is 94, and he cracks a self-satisfied smile. What a faker!