True Beauty Premiere
At the Magnificent Mansion, Chelsea is cursing like a sailor as she tells CJ and us viewers that there's no way she deserved to be in the bottom two. She claims that she looks different from the rest of the people in the house and that adds to her beauty. Meanwhile, Joel acts pleased that his enemy is on the chopping block, saying he doesn't understand how she squeezed through the doors of the competition in the first place.
We see a gussied up Chelsea and HL wheeling their suitcases into the "beauty bus." On the way to their destination, they commiserate about how they so don't deserve to be the two on the bottom and blah blah blah boring. Back at the spy room, Minnillo explains that what the two losers don't know is that they're on the way to the Hall of Beauty [Is that like the Hall of Justice? - Zach], and in the parking lot, they have a van outfitted with a camera and a PA loaded down with a bunch of coffees, just gunning to spill his goods all over the two unsuspecting marks. Wow, so are all of these challenges going to involve people getting spilled on? This is starting to feel like a G-rated version of Two Girls, One Cup. Oh, wait, Minnillo says the challenge will actually be to see if they acknowledge the poor sap and are willing to help him with the door when they're walking into the building. Whoever came up with these challenges is a total Game Theory mastermind.
First up is Chelsea, who holds the door for the dude and therefore passes with flying colors. No offense you guys, but Hitler coulda passed this bull poo. [Hitler was a notorious door-holder. - Z] Next up, in a magnificent chartreuse satin dress, is HL. And wouldn't you know it, we go to commercial!
And we're inside the hall of beauty. Hey, no fair! We don't get to see what HL did? I guess that can only mean one thing: she acted like a b but they had no other way to build the suspense than to leave out her reaction to the dude. What a pack of geniuses!
Minnillo, flanked by her fellow judges, welcomes the two losers to the Hall of Beauty and tells them she'd like each of them to plea their case as to why they deserve to stay on. HL is up first and eloquently states that she doesn't think it's fair and doesn't believe what the doctor said. Tiegs ask what HL thinks "real beauty" is, and she replies that it's natural beauty, sans makeup. Oh snap! Passive-aggressive dig at Chelsea!