24
Season 4 of Jack Bauer's real-time follies started with a bang, and we don't just mean the violent abduction of the Secretary of Defense. Cramming the first four episodes of the season into two nights of programming did more than just bring the recapper to the verge of burnout: it also contributed to the highest ratings in the show's history. And notwithstanding a few weeks of having American Idol as a lead-in, a narratively strong first half of the season didn't hurt either. Fewer distracting and digressive plot lines helped Day Four live up to its billing as the "non-stop season" every bit as much as the lack of reruns and preemptions. 24 seemed to have done the impossible and learned from its mistakes.

So what went wrong in the second twelve hours? Theories vary. Maybe it was the way the show went out of its way to make a big deal out of bringing back "familiar" characters that none of the new viewers had ever seen in their lives. Maybe it was the way each episode told a virtually stand-alone story in a way that required little to no knowledge of what had happened just an hour before. Maybe it was the way the villain's evil plan turned out to be a dog's breakfast, the intermediate stages of which were often more devastating than the final goal. Maybe it was the show's unflagging insistence that what America really needs is more government employees who are willing to torture people.

Whatever the case, when Kiefer finally walked off into the final shot's sunrise to a new life as an ostensibly dead man, we knew he'd be back. Will the viewers? Well, yeah, probably. And Season 5 should be a lot better, what with all the fourth-season mistakes to learn from. Of course, the one change the producers really need to make is the one that won't happen: changing the show's title to 12. --M. Giant

7th Heaven
The ninth season of 7th Heaven had so much (relative) promise -- extraneous characters from the last two season had finally been written out, original cast members returned, and this was supposed to be the final season. What we got was a bizarre focus on the importance of foster parenting (despite none of the main characters being, or having the desire to be, foster parents); Simon having evil premarital sex, only to learn his lesson by facing STD and pregnancy scares and reforming his ways to get instantly engaged like the rest of his siblings; Matt flying in and out of town to do absolutely nothing except for the one episode in which he delivered his own sister's baby at her slightly incestuous insistence; Ruthie dating two more guys of ambiguous sexuality; and Mary still being a huge part of the show despite not ever actually appearing on it. The crappiness all culminated in a musical episode and a just kidding! renewal of the show for at least one more terrible season. (Relative) highlights included Lucy's snarky new daughter, SamVid coming into its own, and that hilarious episode about people who spend all their money on fashionable clothing but can't afford food. We learned some very valuable lessons, including how valuable food stamps and soldiers in Iraq are, and that even if The WB refuses to cancel this show from their network, we can still cancel it from the site. -- Sara M

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24
Season 4 of Jack Bauer's real-time follies started with a bang, and we don't just mean the violent abduction of the Secretary of Defense. Cramming the first four episodes of the season into two nights of programming did more than just bring the recapper to the verge of burnout: it also contributed to the highest ratings in the show's history. And notwithstanding a few weeks of having American Idol as a lead-in, a narratively strong first half of the season didn't hurt either. Fewer distracting and digressive plot lines helped Day Four live up to its billing as the "non-stop season" every bit as much as the lack of reruns and preemptions. 24 seemed to have done the impossible and learned from its mistakes.

So what went wrong in the second twelve hours? Theories vary. Maybe it was the way the show went out of its way to make a big deal out of bringing back "familiar" characters that none of the new viewers had ever seen in their lives. Maybe it was the way each episode told a virtually stand-alone story in a way that required little to no knowledge of what had happened just an hour before. Maybe it was the way the villain's evil plan turned out to be a dog's breakfast, the intermediate stages of which were often more devastating than the final goal. Maybe it was the show's unflagging insistence that what America really needs is more government employees who are willing to torture people.

Whatever the case, when Kiefer finally walked off into the final shot's sunrise to a new life as an ostensibly dead man, we knew he'd be back. Will the viewers? Well, yeah, probably. And Season 5 should be a lot better, what with all the fourth-season mistakes to learn from. Of course, the one change the producers really need to make is the one that won't happen: changing the show's title to 12. --M. Giant

7th Heaven
The ninth season of 7th Heaven had so much (relative) promise -- extraneous characters from the last two season had finally been written out, original cast members returned, and this was supposed to be the final season. What we got was a bizarre focus on the importance of foster parenting (despite none of the main characters being, or having the desire to be, foster parents); Simon having evil premarital sex, only to learn his lesson by facing STD and pregnancy scares and reforming his ways to get instantly engaged like the rest of his siblings; Matt flying in and out of town to do absolutely nothing except for the one episode in which he delivered his own sister's baby at her slightly incestuous insistence; Ruthie dating two more guys of ambiguous sexuality; and Mary still being a huge part of the show despite not ever actually appearing on it. The crappiness all culminated in a musical episode and a just kidding! renewal of the show for at least one more terrible season. (Relative) highlights included Lucy's snarky new daughter, SamVid coming into its own, and that hilarious episode about people who spend all their money on fashionable clothing but can't afford food. We learned some very valuable lessons, including how valuable food stamps and soldiers in Iraq are, and that even if The WB refuses to cancel this show from their network, we can still cancel it from the site. -- Sara M

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next