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TWoP Staff Round-Up

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TWoP Staff Round-Up

American Idol
Marlea Stroman leaves during the Hollywood round, without anybody ever figuring out who the heck she is: boring scandal! Adam Pratt doesn't even make it to the Hollywood round: scandale totale! That one lady almost dies due to her overwhelming love of music and hatred of her family: Springer scandal! Mario is thrown out after allegedly forcing Seacrest to reenact the dramatic 1998 outing of one Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou: alleged scandal! The numbers get muffed, dissed, or otherwise cocked up on, like, a weekly basis, and each just happen to benefit the eventual winner: Diebold scandal! Paula Abdul is clearly high -- Burt Reynolds scandal! People purportedly appreciate Scott Savol: freaky polarizing ivory tower scandal! Mikalah totally says "Fuck" on TV: awesome scandal! Corey Clark is disgusting: shocking scandal! Bo loses American Idol: still-not-over scandal, of Claymate proportions!

Here's hoping that Season 5, and independent counsel, bring us more scandals, more abject cruelty, no more spin-offs, and a giant pile of Paula Abdul, the aphasic but necessary Xander to Ryan Seacrest's Buffy Summers. -- Jacob

The Apprentice
When Ivana decided that she really, really wanted the job working for Donald Trump, she tried everything to earn it. She snitted with the rest of Season 2's odious women, she expressed her fear of Stacie J., and she generally made herself a nightmare. But for the ultimate coup, she needed something more. Something great. Something unforgettable. Something like...dropping her skirt on the street and twirling around in her underpants to sell candy bars. We still kind of can't figure out why it didn't work. -- Miss Alli

The Bachelor
We only lasted three episodes into the latest season before giving up the ghost, and the reason (and the highlight of the season) can be explained with two short, hilarious words: bass fisherman. The producers went from pimping out a former professional football player to pimping out someone who works on a boat in a creek somewhere. He was named Byron. He was old. He had long hair. The whole thing was ridiculous, and boring, and the only memorable part was the Bachelor's occupation. -- Kim

Battlestar Galactica
It turns out that the best adaptation of Phil Dick's work isn't explicitly based on anything he wrote. After a wowzer of a premiere, Battlestar Galactica took a few episodes to find its footing, but its inconsistencies became its strength as it played with genre, going from adventure to farce to political drama. Sure, killer robots guarantee a good time, but there's so much conflict just among the human cast that sometimes the Cylons are comedy relief. Plus there's a great cast (okay, with one exception) and...well, come on: those space battles are really, really cool. Pow! Zap! Whee! We're sure the CGI gets expensive, but if they ever need to supplement the budget, maybe they can make some fast money doing a spin-off based on the production cards. -- Strega

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
TWoP Staff Round-Up

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
TWoP Staff Round-Up

American Idol
Marlea Stroman leaves during the Hollywood round, without anybody ever figuring out who the heck she is: boring scandal! Adam Pratt doesn't even make it to the Hollywood round: scandale totale! That one lady almost dies due to her overwhelming love of music and hatred of her family: Springer scandal! Mario is thrown out after allegedly forcing Seacrest to reenact the dramatic 1998 outing of one Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou: alleged scandal! The numbers get muffed, dissed, or otherwise cocked up on, like, a weekly basis, and each just happen to benefit the eventual winner: Diebold scandal! Paula Abdul is clearly high -- Burt Reynolds scandal! People purportedly appreciate Scott Savol: freaky polarizing ivory tower scandal! Mikalah totally says "Fuck" on TV: awesome scandal! Corey Clark is disgusting: shocking scandal! Bo loses American Idol: still-not-over scandal, of Claymate proportions!

Here's hoping that Season 5, and independent counsel, bring us more scandals, more abject cruelty, no more spin-offs, and a giant pile of Paula Abdul, the aphasic but necessary Xander to Ryan Seacrest's Buffy Summers. -- Jacob

The Apprentice
When Ivana decided that she really, really wanted the job working for Donald Trump, she tried everything to earn it. She snitted with the rest of Season 2's odious women, she expressed her fear of Stacie J., and she generally made herself a nightmare. But for the ultimate coup, she needed something more. Something great. Something unforgettable. Something like...dropping her skirt on the street and twirling around in her underpants to sell candy bars. We still kind of can't figure out why it didn't work. -- Miss Alli

The Bachelor
We only lasted three episodes into the latest season before giving up the ghost, and the reason (and the highlight of the season) can be explained with two short, hilarious words: bass fisherman. The producers went from pimping out a former professional football player to pimping out someone who works on a boat in a creek somewhere. He was named Byron. He was old. He had long hair. The whole thing was ridiculous, and boring, and the only memorable part was the Bachelor's occupation. -- Kim

Battlestar Galactica
It turns out that the best adaptation of Phil Dick's work isn't explicitly based on anything he wrote. After a wowzer of a premiere, Battlestar Galactica took a few episodes to find its footing, but its inconsistencies became its strength as it played with genre, going from adventure to farce to political drama. Sure, killer robots guarantee a good time, but there's so much conflict just among the human cast that sometimes the Cylons are comedy relief. Plus there's a great cast (okay, with one exception) and...well, come on: those space battles are really, really cool. Pow! Zap! Whee! We're sure the CGI gets expensive, but if they ever need to supplement the budget, maybe they can make some fast money doing a spin-off based on the production cards. -- Strega

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next

Mondo Extra

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