MONDO EXTRAS

Superstars of Dance Premiere

by Angel Cohn January 5, 2009
Winter Pilot Season: Superstars of Dance

I need to take a moment to express my hatred for this Master Scoreboard, because it is confusing to have some teams with two scores because they've had two dances already and others not even on the solo or group charts because they haven't performed yet. If I really cared more about this show I'd be much more upset, but right now I'm just irked by it. They should really save it for the end. It would be more dramatic. And somehow during the course of this episode, Michael Flatley has become more orangey. He must be getting self-tanned during the commercial breaks.

Up next is a South African dancer named Sduduzo Ka-mbili who is doing a Zulu dance style solo. He's here to introduce people to his culture. He's not wearing much of anything when he comes out, but he does an intense dance that culminates in him stripping off some of the little clothing he's wearing. He also kicks his legs at amazing heights. I would watch more of him. Susie can't pronounce Sduduzo's name when she talks to his coach. Though finally we get a coach who is willing to say that her performer could have given more, and that he's got more in store. The judges don't seem to be all that impressed. He gets a 55.

Now they are running a commercial for tomorrow night's episode. TOO MUCH! But I'm going to have to watch, because they couldn't squeeze in a performance from every country in every permutation tonight and I'm a sucker for the dance show. But I for sure will be taping it and just fast forwarding through any Michael Flatley or Susie whatshername chatter.

Georgia Ambarian and Eric Luna are on deck for America. They are doing ballroom, a style called cabaret. They start off with a lift that looks like a magic trick. She's wearing an outfit that has one short pant leg and one long one and that annoys me. I do like that their performance sort of looks like ice skating with big lifts and mostly graceful moves, but this girl has some creepy eyes. Tone down the fake eyelashes! The judges were sort of impressed, but I'm thinking that a string of lifts isn't really what they consider ballroom. They get a 57. Creepy eye girl looks on seemingly confused that the judges didn't fall at their feet in adoration.

Did you know that if you are throwing an international dance competition that the rules clearly state that there must be an Argentinean tango? No. Neither did I. Thankfully Michael Flatley is here to explain these things to us all. Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo are doing their country's duet. They used to both be in Forever Tango on Broadway. They have some tables and chairs set up on the stage that they never touch, which seems unnecessary, much like the weird staircases that keep coming and going during the duo and solo dances. Some set designer needs to chill. Their tango looks slow and sensuous and has nice lines and ends with him tossing her across the floor. No time for small talk (thankfully) and straight on to the scores. They get a 65.

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