MONDO EXTRAS

Hair of the dog

by Jacob Clifton October 27, 2001
WolfGirl

Somewhere between madness and sanity, between "moving and literary story of liminality and the Other" and "ABC After-School Special on the dangers of anabolic steroids," between Nad's and Nair, lies...WOLF GIRL!

We begin at sundown in the dirtiest town ever, where four mean teens stand around a trashy red car that's making me think it's 1968. They remind me of the jackal kids from the season-one Buffy episode called "The Pack," although they can't even blame the supernatural for their cruddy acts. Krystal, who reminds me of that talented actress Alison Folland, only as a way trashy "blonde." Beau, cute as a button and psychotic as a giggling Dick Cheney surrounded by paper dolls, played by Shawn Ashmore. He and Krystal are the Jackal leaders; their word is law.

The other two Jackals are Cory, who's got these eyebrows that will blow your mind, and Whiffer (we won't even discuss this name), who looks to be in a band heavily influenced by Pavement. He's played by Nate Dushku (yes, one of those Dushkus, as in Faith the Vampire Slayer). Nate, formerly of Antitrust, is in this movie going for "a personal best," because the real challenge after participating in such a wonderful example of the filmic art is maintaining your forward inertia. Whiffer's the spineless nice one, Cory's the dumb vicious follower, and Beau and Krystal are evil. Got that?

They're expositing about how somebody's cat possibly "got ate" by a real-life wolf, but are distracted by a defenseless white bunny that's just sitting there like an offering to their unspeakable Jackal appetites. Just so you know she's evil, Krystal pulls out a slingshot (I guess it's 1955), preparing to Dennis-the-Menace this little bunny all the way back to the nice people at Cadbury. People in small towns are apparently all psychotic trash. Krystal tells us that the bunny is worth two points, but a better victim runs out from behind a tree before she can cash in. You can't tell it's him, because he doesn't have his crazy makeup on, and the credits list him as Dov Tiefenbach, but trust me, it's Marilyn Manson. The Jackals are interrupted in their concerted menacing by the Freak Show, which just then arrives in town.

Not Joan and Melissa Rivers doing red-carpet commentary, embarrassing themselves and talented artists alike, but a Geek Love-by-Katherine-Dunn Old-School Freak Show. The credits tell us that John Roby is to be blamed for the "sideshow music." Does this mean the score? Because that is awful, all cranky percussion and oboe with a head trauma, but if there are going to be actual songs I need to go grab some vodka at the vodka store. Showtunes are like my Kryptonite. The Jackals and Marilyn are staring as if they've never seen vehicles before.

My friend Amie: Why are all the trailers going at different speeds?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25Next

Comments

Hair of the dog

by Jacob Clifton October 27, 2001
WolfGirl Somewhere between madness and sanity, between "moving and literary story of liminality and the Other" and "ABC After-School Special on the dangers of anabolic steroids," between Nad's and Nair, lies...WOLF GIRL! We begin at sundown in the dirtiest town ever, where four mean teens stand around a trashy red car that's making me think it's 1968. They remind me of the jackal kids from the season-one Buffy episode called "The Pack," although they can't even blame the supernatural for their cruddy acts. Krystal, who reminds me of that talented actress Alison Folland, only as a way trashy "blonde." Beau, cute as a button and psychotic as a giggling Dick Cheney surrounded by paper dolls, played by Shawn Ashmore. He and Krystal are the Jackal leaders; their word is law. The other two Jackals are Cory, who's got these eyebrows that will blow your mind, and Whiffer (we won't even discuss this name), who looks to be in a band heavily influenced by Pavement. He's played by Nate Dushku (yes, one of those Dushkus, as in Faith the Vampire Slayer). Nate, formerly of Antitrust, is in this movie going for "a personal best," because the real challenge after participating in such a wonderful example of the filmic art is maintaining your forward inertia. Whiffer's the spineless nice one, Cory's the dumb vicious follower, and Beau and Krystal are evil. Got that? They're expositing about how somebody's cat possibly "got ate" by a real-life wolf, but are distracted by a defenseless white bunny that's just sitting there like an offering to their unspeakable Jackal appetites. Just so you know she's evil, Krystal pulls out a slingshot (I guess it's 1955), preparing to Dennis-the-Menace this little bunny all the way back to the nice people at Cadbury. People in small towns are apparently all psychotic trash. Krystal tells us that the bunny is worth two points, but a better victim runs out from behind a tree before she can cash in. You can't tell it's him, because he doesn't have his crazy makeup on, and the credits list him as Dov Tiefenbach, but trust me, it's Marilyn Manson. The Jackals are interrupted in their concerted menacing by the Freak Show, which just then arrives in town. Not Joan and Melissa Rivers doing red-carpet commentary, embarrassing themselves and talented artists alike, but a Geek Love-by-Katherine-Dunn Old-School Freak Show. The credits tell us that John Roby is to be blamed for the "sideshow music." Does this mean the score? Because that is awful, all cranky percussion and oboe with a head trauma, but if there are going to be actual songs I need to go grab some vodka at the vodka store. Showtunes are like my Kryptonite. The Jackals and Marilyn are staring as if they've never seen vehicles before.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP