13: Fear Is Real Premiere
On the doorknob, I don't mind telling you, someone has attached three fake dead fish. They are plastic and shiny. Erica cheerfully says about the cabin, "we could clean it up!" She is so my favorite.
So they're all looking around at the crayon scrawled pentagrams and "hidden" cameras on the ceiling. Kelly interviews that she is a Christian and believes that stuff out there is the devil's work. I'm serious. That's what she said. Then the hot girls take their shirts off and spray themselves down with bug spray. Lauren interviews that she is the type of girl who prefers a dry martini at the bar to being abandoned in the woods. I too am this kind of girl. As, I'm sure, are many girls. She looks at the bright side, though, by saying this is kind of cool because it's like being in her own horror movie. Just puttin' it all out there, this girl, which is actually wise considering this show is basically these people's The Descent 5 audition reel.
The girls are asking Nasser why he's called "Show," because apparently people call him that. He reveals that they call him this because he likes to put on a show. Also, he raps. Which we all get to hear, as Erica does some hot impromptu percussion on the pentagram-scrawled walls. Seriously, Erica FTW! And I know he hadn't seen it yet when this was filmed, but I think it should be said that reality people should never attempt to rap on television ever again after Nikki's epic herpes instructions rap on Rock of Love last week. There's just no following that act.
After everyone's settled in the craft store cabin, they all decide to take a nap, when there is a loud BANG! on the side of the cabin. Leah starts freaking out in a major way, screaming and overacting and it's simultaneously insufferably annoying and really impressive. One of the brown-haired guys goes out to investigate and finds a piece of binder paper with ransom letters on it, demanding that they "Answer the phone." It is attached to the cabin with a giant ax, thus the BANG! sound. Apparently it was thrown with John Locke level accuracy, pinning the note to the cabin. Leah screams, "AAAAHHHHHH THERE'S A NOOOOTE! AND IT SAYS STUFF ON IT!!!" The mere notion of a note that also says stuff on it is enough to reduce her to hysterics.