MONDO EXTRAS

Sex Robot looks back at Buck from a few rows up and Buck makes a throat-slitting motion at him. Ha!

The fam assembles around Kate to load her down with praise. A friend walks by to congratulate her and Buck grabs her ass. The girl squeals and says "Hi Mrs. Gregson," like it's the most normal and annoying thing in the world. Marshall offers Kate the retardedly named Muffins of Triumph, explaining that they're Paula Deen's recipe. We get it. He's gay. All of a sudden Kate notices with no small measure of concern that Bucks missing.

No he's not! He's beating the shit out of Sex Robot in the parking lot as the other kids cheer him on! Sex Robot whines helplessly that he can't hit her back because she's Mrs. Gregson, to which Buck feigns ignorance, saying that he's actually Buck and he's gonna fuck him UP. Max pulls Buck off him and Buck explains that the ass-kicking is deserved because the guy popped Katie's cherry and then proceeded to rough her up earlier that day. Marshall immediately plows into Sex Robot, knocking him into a car and kicking him on the ground.

Later on after Sex Robot presumably dies of internal bleeding, the Gregsons are bonding at the bowling alley. Because obviously that's where you go in this sort of circumstance. Kate thanks Buck for coming to her recital but says that next time she wants her mom there instead. Then she thanks Buck for defending her honor and there's a lovely family moment where Max is all, yeah! All three of us boys have your back. Buck warns her that she needs to keep her pants up until she's sixteen so that if she gets knocked up she can at least support her baby. Funny, that's pretty much what my mom's birds and bees conversation with me consisted of. With that, Buck downs the rest of his beer and calls Marshall over to the lane so he can show him how to bowl properly, or as he puts it, "make this ball your bitch." Kate comments that it's weird that Buck is a leftie and none of the others are, and Max agrees that that is definitely the weirdest thing about the whole situation. I think that's called sarcasm.

And so concludes the first episode of United States of Tara. Don't say I never did anything for you suckers. That's love.

What did you think of the pilot? Discuss it in the United States of Tara forums.