More to Love
Episode 101

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Of Bosoms, Booze, and Besos
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Pimptastic music plays. Close-up on a hubcap. A black convertible rolls down the street. Ooh, we must be about to meet someone cool! "I'm Luke Conley," a man says in voiceover. The camera pans up to the convertible's driver. He goes on to say he's a big man at 330 pounds and he's from Santa Maria, California. Luke is a "successful real estate investor" and works out of his home, which we are now scoping out. Good to know someone's doing well in real estate, I guess. He talks some more but my attention is held by a tray on his desk. It looks like if you took a small animal, hollowed it out, dipped it in silver, and then filled the torso with trinkets. There's some kind of tail thingie on it and everything. Where were we? Oh, right: Luke. He says he's 26, makes a six-figure salary, and he's a thrill-seeker who wants to bring that into his dating life. He huffs and puffs up and down the beach with an adorable dog who looks sort of like Nipper, the RCA dog. The dog is seriously cute.

The cute dog's owner is still talking: He likes curvy women because they know how to have more fun. He wants to meet a special lady he can "connect" with. He goes into his back story about how he's gotten his heart broken because of his size and got poked fun at because he was chubby. Nonetheless, he persevered and didn't allow himself any hang-ups about his body, which he proves to us by displaying his naked manboobs on the beach. Good for him. I guess. Oh, yay! More dog! Luke barbecues for his friends while the dog forlornly pokes around the grill. Luke says he wouldn't want to be with a girl who's always dieting. Luke laughs it up with his buds. The dog takes a whiz on all their feet. I hope, anyway.

Oh and now comes the obligatory thoughtful sunset scene, where Luke gazes off into the horizon and muses about meeting the future Mrs. Conley, and finding passion and love, and strummy generic guitar music plays in the background to prove how sincere he is. I think the back of his jacket says "PHAT FARM" on it. He's ready to meet the girl of his dreams, he says. "Bring it on."

And bring it on they do. Luke arrives at the Mansion O' Big Love and is greeted by host and plus size model, Emme. She's wearing Sharon Gless's hair and a black party dress with a weird chiffon cape thing attached to one shoulder. As Luke walks up to meet her, we see she's also wearing flip-flops. Like the kind you get for four bucks at the drugstore on the way to the beach. I kind of love her already. She asks what kind of girl he's looking for and he dutifully says he doesn't have a type and all women are beautiful. "Very good," Emme says, like she's training a cocker spaniel who's just learned to sit on command. And now it's time to meet the romantic hopefuls.

1 2 3 4 5 6Next

More to Love

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP