Luke is chatting with Melissa of the ill-chosen backless dress now. She confesses to him that she's never been on a real date. He tells her she's beautiful and gives her his jacket to wear because it's cold out. She starts to win me over with her cute awkwardness, but then she interviews that this is her "once chance" to feel loved. Girl, you are 21. Two-one. This isn't even your one chance to be on a reality show. You have plenty of time. Danielle and Natasha longingly watch the goings-on. Danielle interviews that it was really important that she stand out to Luke. As he goes inside the mansion to chat up Arianne, Danielle dives headlong into the pool. In her dress. Because she is an attention-seeking fool. She sing-songs for Luke to come in and join her. He has sense enough not to. Bonnie interviews that she's not a fan of going to extremes for attention. What, like being on a cheesy dating show where they put your weight by your name on every interview screen? Heaven forbid. Inside, Bonnie remarks to someone that Danielle looked like an otter, which is probably the kindest of the sea mammals she could have chosen, considering the theme of the show. Danielle gets out of the pool just to jump back in again. Luckily, a commercial break saves me from having to see any more of her aquatic hijinks.
Inside the mansion: More drinking, more squealing, followed by yet more drinking and more squealing. The rocket scientist takes him aside and essentially apologizes for being a rocket scientist. Sigh. Some of the other girls around the party joke about what type of girl is right for Luke, saying he's too "adventurous" for the rocket scientist. Seriously? I have old J. Peterman catalogues that seem more adventurous, but whatever. Michelle of the barely-there halter dress says Luke's just what she's been looking for. Danielle listens in from the pool and wonders if she looks like a beached whale. No, because beached whales never look foolish.
Luke sits down with Malissa for some one-on-one time. The gravitational pull of her bosom causes him to lean in and put an arm around her. She says she learned French but she knows Spanish better. He asks her how to say "kiss" in Spanish. (It's "beso," so your parents can't say you never learned anything from TV.) He asks her to show him. To my eyes, she clearly looked reluctant, but she leans in for a kiss anyway. He then says that, unfortunately, he has to think about which girls to send home tonight. I guess I was mistaken. I thought there was only one dog on this show. Malissa gives him another kiss, this time with tongue. Yep, she's staying.