Hi, I'll be your new regular fat people dating show weecapper. According to the previouslies, this Luke guy is kind of a whore. He makes out with everyone! Anyway, the women cook in their kitchen. One girl asks another girl (it's the second episode and we're already expected to know these people's names? Hell no. Throw some text on that screen!) if she cooks a lot at home. "Grilled cheese and macaroni," she responds. Well, that's why you're on this show. Emme screams into the room with a "LADIESSSS!!!" as Malissa interviews that Christina seems like a complainer. Well, I think Malissa seems judgmental. Emme gets the ladies together in the living room and asks if they're ready for their first dates with Luke. They are! Emme says there will be two group dates, and the women can pick who is in which group. Except not really, since the picking will actually be done by two team captains. Emme assigns Anna and "Melissa A." (who I think is actually Malissa) to those roles. There is much clapping all around, which I guess is good in that it burns calories but I'm not sure that this news is really all that clap-worthy. Anyway, Melissa isn't thrilled about the way groups are being chosen because she endured a childhood full of being the last person picked. Also, she wasn't invited to birthday parties, so let's hope one of the group dates isn't a birthday party. Anna picks Arriane first. Um, how is Arriane fat, exactly? She looks perfectly normal from where I'm sitting. Melissa A. (or Malissa) picks Mandy. Anna picks Amanda as Kristian does some mental math (she's a teacher) and realizes that the groups will have uneven numbers. Also, did she just say there are fifteen contestants left? Crap, how can I possibly tell them apart? They all look the same! Anna picks Magali, and apparently they skipped Malissa's turn. When she finally gets a chance to pick again, she takes Kristian. Anna picks Melissa, who is very happy not to be picked last. Meanwhile, that means someone else is going to be last, so where is your empathy, Melissa? Malissa picks Danielle. Anna picks Tali. Malissa picks Bonnie. Meanwhile, Christina is feeling Melissa's previous pain because she still hasn't been picked and she's having schoolyard playground flashbacks. I don't know what these women are all so upset about -- it's a good thing to be picked last because it means you're the biggest threat so no one wants you on their team. That's why the first girl chosen was the 37-year-old. Anna picks Lauren. Only Christina and Vanessa remain. Malissa picks Vanessa. Christina is devastated and embarrassed. Lauren interviews that Christina was picked last because she's a snob and thinks she's better than everyone. What? No way. Oh, wait -- Christina interviews that, weight issues aside, she's awesome. So I guess she is a snob. Emme says everyone here knows how tough it is to be picked last, because apparently if you're fat you're automatically unpopular and disliked. Not true, but okay. Anyway, this show is going to celebrate being picked last by giving Christina an alone date with Luke. The other women steam while Christina thanks them for picking her last and makes them dislike her even more. Anna and Malissa should be especially angry about this because, as team captains, they never had a chance at the alone date.