More to Love

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Sara M: C- | Grade It Now!
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Promenade

Morning at the big house. Kristian wants to know all there is to know about Luke already, asking if he has a tan body. Yes, I'm sure he's all about sunning his 300+ pound self wherever and whenever. The other girls clearly don't want to talk about it, but Kristian insists that they describe Luke's hot body to her. "Every crevice of every muscle," she says. Gross, Kristian. Luke doesn't have muscles. Those crevices you're asking about are fat folds. So nasty. "I wanna pour barbecue sauce all over him and eat him like a pork chop," Kristian concludes. Could she be any less sexy? Kristian digs into her waffles and talks about how awesome Luke is and how she's in love with him. Anna listens and says very little, interviewing that she has a connection with Luke but realizes that the other girls in the house have one, too. Holy crap, is Anna seven feet tall?

Luke runs out of the pool house wearing his best bright orange polo shirt. He's very excited about what the producers he has in store for the women today. "Girls, get your fine selves down here!" he calls from the living room. Ugh, I was hoping that he might be slightly less of a douche this week, but no. The girls squeal and scream but don't really move very fast, because that would count as exercise. Luke is standing in front of a table full of silver presents. He says he can't believe how much he has in common with the girls. Um, like what, exactly? The fact that you're overweight? Because that's kind of all you guys really know about each other. Luke talks about how they've all been mistreated in their pasts because of their weight, and I am getting really sick of them acting like being fat is automatically a pass to the unpopular club. Especially since Luke was not fat when he was in school and probably did his fair share of picking on overweight people himself. He wants to make it up to the girls with a prom, since they were probably too fat to enjoy or attend the prom when they were in high school. The boxes contain prom dresses for everyone, and each girl has the day to get dressed and have her hair and make-up done for the prom tonight. Tali says she's the most excited out of anyone, because this is her "very very very very first prom." As opposed to the other girls, for whom this is only their very first prom or their very very first prom. Bonnie the Tattooed housewife says that dresses for fat girls have come a long way since her prom days. Enh -- they still look ugly to me.

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More to Love

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