Good news, everyone! Since I started weecapping this show, I've lost ten pounds! Okay, yes -- it's because I had a tonsillectomy and couldn't eat solid food for two weeks, but I prefer to think that I was inspired by the desperate and sad people on this show. It's morning at the big house, and Kristian wants everyone to know that she eats waffles for breakfast. And they appear to still be frozen, based on the looks of them. Also, way to have more butter than waffle on the plate, Kristian. Just shell out for Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, and then you'll have butter and syrup in one easy package! It's the best of both worlds! The rest of the girls, meanwhile, are savoring the fact that they're still in the game and so many other girls have gone home. Kristian runs in with a note from Luke inviting her and Mandy to meet him out front for a dancing date. Is it just me, or does "Luke" have different handwriting every week? And yet, it's always really girly. Anyway, Kristian is really excited, of course, while Mandy cannot possibly be looking forward to spending time with a crazy person. Or Luke, really. Kristian interviews that she hopes that Mandy breaks her ankle so she can't dance with Luke. "That would be bad," Kristian says, looking particularly psycho. Holy shit, Mandy, look out! It's too late -- surely she's already dead. Mandy claims that she loves to dance, but her attempt to show off her dance moves leaves much to be desired. That might be because she's standing next to Kristian and thus must be on her guard at all times. Mandy and Kristian make fun of the remaining four girls for not getting to go on dates and leave, as if those four girls aren't all sitting there right now counting their blessings they aren't in Kristian's line of fire.
Kristian and Mandy meet Luke outside, and he says he's looking forward to a dancing date with them because they're the two best dancers in the house. I haven't seen the other four dance, but I'm still sure they're better than Kristian and Mandy too, most likely. The three limo over to Mama Juana's, which I've never heard of but is clearly a hopping joint based on the fact that Luke, Mandy, and Kristian are the only people there. Luke holds both of their hands, which just looks weird, while the two women attempt to out-sexy each other with unsexy results. They take a seat at a booth and drink what appear to be glasses full of lime wedges. And then two thin people enter and start dancing. Kristian says that when she moves her legs like that, "it looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket." As long as the pigs stay under that blanket, I'm okay with it. After all of two seconds of dance demonstration, the three fat people are forced to applaud for the skinny dancers and then it's time for Rodrigo and Sarah to teach them how to dance themselves. Rodrigo so wishes that he was on Dancing with the Stars. Or even Dance Your Ass Off. Rodrigo grabs Kristian's hips to show her a dance move, and now I'm sure she's fallen head over heels in love with him. Watch your ankles, Sarah! Luke and Kristian take some time to practice their newly-learned moves together while Mandy watches, so alone. And then it's Mandy's turn to dance with Luke. And now that I'm seeing more of Mandy's body and actually know what her name is, I have to say I don't think she's fat.













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