And we are in Hawaii! I've never been to Hawaii because I'm scared of volcanoes, but it looks beautiful. Oh no wait -- there's Luke. Paradise ruined. He stands on a rocky beach looking out towards the ocean contemplatively like he's a recovering addict on Intervention or something. Tragically (or not), something is wrong with the sound on my TV tonight and the audio keeps going in and out. I don't know if that's a nationwide problem or if it's my Fox affiliate or my DirecTV dish, but it might make it difficult to recap everything.
Luke's Ladies limo through Hawaii and talk about how gorgeous it is even though it's nighttime and thus too dark to see anything. Tali, who always looks better in her interviews when she doesn't put on way too much makeup, says that she'd rather be here with just Luke and not Malissa and Mandy, but she'll make the best of things and "go for it." Ew. The ladies meet Luke at a luau that took me way too long to figure out how to spell. They grab some food and drinks and Luke proposes a cheesy toast. Then he dances, also cheesily. Mandy tries to do the butt-bump with him but he ends up dancing with Malissa, who interviews that Luke is a confidence booster. The girls say this every freaking week. Guess what? Luke is not a saint for treating you like a normal human being despite your weight. That's what people are supposed to do. When the dance is over, Luke high-fives the girls, which is kind of weird. Luke then tells the ladies that this will be their last group activity -- it's solo dates from here on out! The girls are very pleased about this. So is Luke, because now he gets to have sex. I mean, "get to know each girl on a deeper level." The deeper level of her vagina.
The next morning, Malissa drives up and meets Luke for their solo date. Luke says he and Malissa are physically compatible (a.k.a. he likes her boobs) but he wants to know now if she's ready for a committed relationship. He wonders if she's "in this for love or if she's just in it to win it." That would be kind of weird if it was the latter, since I think winning this show means finding love. With that, they visit a Sea World rip-off called "Sea Life Park." It turns out that Luke loves penguins. Malissa loves PDA. They both get what they want. Then Luke says they get to actually get in the water with the dolphins. And they do. Luke and Malissa even get to ride on the dolphins, which is pretty darn cool. Malissa says she's shocked that the dolphins could even support them. You know, I really wasn't going to mention how strong the dolphins must be to be able to pull Luke, but then Malissa had to go and do it anyway. Once they're done with that, they get a picnic in a really gorgeous area by the water. Malissa says she's sure she isn't going home this round, but Luke says that while he's having fun with Malissa, there's more to a relationship than having fun with someone. It's time to get vulnerable! Luke gets all serious and asks Malissa what she sees of their future together once they aren't on a reality show that gives them free trips and dates. Malissa says the reality show dates are nice and all, but she really wants to spend time with Luke. Luke interviews once again that he's physically attracted to Malissa but is starting to wonder if he's letting that attraction blind him to what her real intentions are. They kiss and then it's time for dinner.