Okay, first of all are you KIDDING me? A two-hour finale?? I was not expecting this. I did not plan for this. I did not set aside enough time in my night for this. Crap. But on the positive side, this is the finale and that means no more listening to women talk about how amazing it is to find a man who doesn't care that they're fat while the man says nothing about how awesome it is to meet women who don't care that he is also fat. And since this episode is twice as long as usual, maybe that means twice as much Emme. So she'll get, like, a whole thirty seconds of camera time!
We open in Luke's hometown, Santa Maria. It's full of cows and blue collar workers and Luke claims that despite all the exotic places he's been and the cool stuff he's done in those places (as a real estate developer? Okay), he loves coming home. But he knows this will be difficult because now he must choose between two amazing women. Well, one amazing woman. And another woman with giant boobs. He recaps his relationship with Malissa thus far, claiming that she's more than the pretty face he initially thought and is really deep and stuff. But he's not sure if she's ready for marriage. On the other hand, there's Tali, who he has a deep connection with that he hopes will be enough to overcome the fact that they're from two different backgrounds. Luke then claims that he does not take falling in love lightly. Well, duh. It's people who are very serious about falling in love that choose to do so on a gimmicky reality show.
Tali limos into town. Oh, the small town blue collar folk will surely be impressed with her and her big city luxury automobile. The limo pulls up to the park where Luke is playing with his prop dog and Tali runs out to greet Luke and claim that she missed him. Luke, who is wearing vertical stripes today in an effort to look slim, introduces Tali to his dog Max and immediately forces her to take him for a walk with him. They throw stuff in a nearby pond. I think they're supposed to be feeding the ducks, but there are no ducks in sight, so maybe not. Luke runs down the schedule with Tali: today she'll meet his dad, brother, and grandmother. But not his mother, because his parents are divorced. Tali says she's nervous about meeting his family, of course, but he doesn't think she has anything to worry about. And with that, they happen upon a picnic set up. Tali interviews that when she's with Luke she feels accepted and loved for "who I am." I am so sick of hearing the girls say that. Tali asks Luke what she can do to prepare to meet his father. He doesn't have much advice, saying he's sure his dad will love her. Tali wonders if he'll ask her about the fact that she's "from a different religion," because that's a fun conversation to have with your son's reality show girlfriend when you meet her for the first time. Luke says he probably will, but it won't be a grilling. "It's just a part of life to be concerned about those things," Luke says. It doesn't have to be. Amazingly, Luke finally says the J-word and says in an interview that Tali is Jewish. His family, on the other hand, are "all devout Christians." Well, if they're devout then I can kind of see why Luke and Tali are worried that her non-Christianity will be a problem. And vice-versa -- if Tali's parents live in Israel then it's pretty safe to assume that they're very much into being Jewish. But since this show didn't want to pay to fly Tali's parents out here it's not important now. Luke says that as long as his family can see how much he likes her, the religion thing shouldn't be a problem. Despite what Luke said to Tali about how his family will love and accept her as much as he has, he interviews that he's not sure how they'll react to her.