Oh, no -- now I'm dying. Because they insist on showing us Luke shirtless crawling out of bed. The girls manage to wake up with their clothes on. Luke agonizes over his decision while the girls get ready. He limos over to a jewelry store to buy an engagement ring. He tells the saleswoman that he actually has to choose between two girls and thus must pick out a ring for each one. The ring saleswoman is like "no returns, no refunds." She picks out a ring based on Luke's description of Malissa. Malissa de-limos at a salon and gets her hair done in preparation for tonight. She says she's trying not to be nervous and to look forward to spending the rest of her life with Luke. Luke, meanwhile, looks for rings for Tali, who also de-limos at the same salon Malissa went to. But she's not there when Tali enters. Tali says she's excited for tonight but also really nervous. Most of all, she's more in love with him than any other man ever. Luke picks out one ring for whoever he's going to ask tonight. He says he's ready to be in love and he's made his decision.
Night falls on the mansion. Emme actually puts in an appearance and chats with Luke before the elimination. Their conversation is really fake and stilted but basically Luke says he's picked a girl and he came on this show to find the love of his life and he has. But he hopes that all the "sad emotions" that will inevitably come with having to reject one of the girls won't cast a pall over the happy occasion that is choosing his fiancée. Emme just nods and looks really bored. And that's it for her!
Malissa and Tali get ready and look gorgeous. Luke stares at the engagement ring and worries that the woman he asks will say no after all. As limos arrive at the mansion, Luke leaves his poolhouse. After the break, he continues his walk from the poolhouse towards the mansion and talks about how he has feelings for both women but is definitely in love with just one of them. Luke takes his spot at the end of a cheesy purple stage in front of the pool. The limo pulls into the driveway. Malissa gets out and walks towards the house while interviewing about how much she loves Luke and how he makes her feel and how "weight has nothing to do with it." Oh really? Since you only talk about your weight like every episode. She walks through the mansion and out to the back and down the purple carpet, still interviewing about how she wants to be Luke's choice and how her heart will break if she is not. She stands on the stage and Luke takes her hands. Luke says that he's been attracted to her from the moment they met and they have a lot in common and stuff. And she's beautiful and would fit into his life and she's a lot of fun and he loves her BUT ... his heart belongs to someone else. Oh no! Poor Tali! Malissa looks more angry than sad right now. She looks at the open ring box and sees the engagement ring she isn't going to get. I'd like to say I'm surprised by this but as soon as she got out of the limo first I knew there was no way she was getting the ring. Also, she got the evil edit. But what a shame! It made me think that she and Luke really deserved each other, while Tali deserves so much better. Malissa finally speaks and says "everything felt so right. I just can't believe I was so wrong." She would like to leave now and end this humiliation, but she lets Luke walk her out. Outside the limo, they say good-night and hug. Malissa says she's upset, but her eyes are pretty dry. I think she's just mad to lose. I'm just mad that Emme didn't walk out at any point and say "it's time to say your good-byes" like she usually does. Not even an "only one ring remains!"
In her exit interview, Malissa talks about how Luke was everything she was looking for. Still no tears, though. "What makes her better than me?" she asks. See? It's all about the competition for Malissa. Not about the prize. That's what makes Tali better. Poor Tali. Malissa finally gets herself to cry but it's still not that convincing. I cried harder than that when I found out that this show was two hours long. Malissa says she never expected to fall for someone on this show. Then why do it at all? To be on TV, I suspect. Well, mission accomplished! And she doesn't have to be with Luke anymore. So she won, basically.
Luke takes a seat on the podium and allows himself to feel bad. He says that he and Malissa seemed right for each other, but never could be because of his feelings for Tali. He hopes he doesn't regret this decision. I regret the fact that it's two in the morning and I'm still watching this. What horrible life decisions did I make for this to happen? Sigh.
After the break, Luke is cheerful again and looking forward to proposing to Tali. He talks about all the hopes he has for the future with her and how she makes him feel like they can achieve them together and you almost almost believe that reality show love is real. But it isn't. Tali gets out of the limo looking very nervous. She walks through the mansion as she interviews that she's never felt like she does for Luke for anyone else. And, of course, she loves that he doesn't care about her weight. Because we couldn't end this show without hearing that one more time. She steps on the podium. Luke says that "life has made it difficult for people like you and I to find love." You mean overweight people? Yeah, life and a genetic predisposition and a lot of pizza. He giggles that Tali is "such a beautiful curvy woman" and the more time he spends with her, the more he realizes that they're from two different worlds and will have obstacles to overcome in their relationship. Tali sighs, thinking she knows what's coming next. Tali, come on. Even if you were getting kicked off th