A History of Violence

by Zach Oat May 23, 2008
Indiana Jones: Scientist or Criminal?

Then Indy meets Hitler in person and doesn't shoot him in the face. Seriously, dude. He's burning books in a courtyard. Just shoot him. Verdict: CRIMINAL.

Jones then commits a string of crimes in quick succession. He attacks a blimp worker and steals his clothing, then steals the blimp's emergency biplane (which he crashes), then steals a car from a private residence (which he also crashes). These crimes wouldn't be so terrible if the owners had any chance of getting their property back, but Indy likes to thoroughly demolish his vehicles after use. Maybe because it prevents anyone from using them to come after him? Or maybe because he's a jerk? Verdict: CRIMINAL.

For the remainder of the film, Indy kills Nazis in horrible, horrible ways, including shooting four of them at once and driving another one off a cliff. But again -- they're Nazis. Go to town, Indy. Even his B&E at the Canyon of the Crescent Moon is no big deal. He's pretty much given permission to take the Holy Grail by the temple's lone guard, and the Grail never even leaves the building. So he beats that rap, as well. All in all, a crime-free ending to an incredibly crime-filled adventure.

The Last Crusade Verdict: CRIMINAL.

CONCLUSION: Despite the best of intentions, and the evil nature of most of his victims, Indiana Jones is clearly more criminal than scientist... not that that makes us want to see his movies any less. Yaaay, crime!

For a sneak peek at Indiana Jones ' latest criminal escapades in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, check out our Top-Secret Set Diary!

Want to know what ordinary people think about the movie? Check out theRevYou!

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