"No way!"

Pause.

"Are you serious?"

Pause.

Fifty dollar bills! Sigh.

I, Claudia: "Tonight, you're gonna be paired up with a complete and total stranger." A what? "You've never met this person before." Oh.

A group of ten men stand in tuxedoes on a raised platform some way off as Claudia continues by saying that Randi and one man are going to pull off "a spectacular con on [Randi's] family and friends." Randi laughs wickedly and tells Claudia that she's "scared, but excited," which is exactly how I feel in a world where how I really feel is "bored, but repulsed. But mostly bored." Oh man, she's still explaining the show to Randi. Couldn't they have just shown her some of the promos on the way to the house? Show don't tell, Fox. Show don't tell. Okay. Claudia reports that they told Randi's family that she went on a reality TV show, that she met the man of her dreams, that the two of them are engaged, and that they're getting married in twelve days. "And," Claudia congressionally filibusters like she's stumping to kill zoning legislation outlawing full-service tanning salons inside residential living rooms, "you have to make sure that your mom, you dad, your brothers, and your sister all attend your wedding." If Randi can pull it off, she'll win a half a million dollars: $250,000 for her, $250,000 for her parents. But if anyone refuses to come, or anyone objects during the ceremony, she gets nothing. Dude, I can think of at least one much more time-and-pride-efficient way for her to leave without a cent. And if there's anything this situation calls for? It's a faux-Hitchcockian music cue. Oh, there it is now.

Randi's wide eyes bug so far out of her head that, yes, I will tell them Large Marge sent me, and she frets, "This is gonna be hard." But apparently the producers made a major early misstep in thinking Randi was going to see the ten guys and decide to take this challenge head-on until they showed her who the guy really was. But she already seems nonplussed and bothered and not entirely embracing of the situation, and it doesn't help that Claudia's repeated entreaties of "No, this is gonna be a lot of fun" call further attention to the fact that they can't pull the proverbial rug out from under Randi because she already looks like she's face-down on the white marble bleeding, with her ass in the air and her pride in the hock shop. But they sure are gonna try: "You have twelve handsome gentlemen who want to help you pull this off," Claudia says, futilely gesturing up to the podium where a slightly mollified Randi was supposed to go trick-or-treating for eye candy. Claudia asks the guys if they're all happy to help her pull off this con, and they all nod faithfully. They each introduce themselves in blurb form, getting on one knee and offering their names. Since this is merely a failing ruse, even knowing their names is probably in excess of the knowledge you even require, but you know what? I give and I give and I give. So here they are: Jeff, Nick, Craig, Antoine, Braydon, Scott, Eric, Tanah, Cleveland, and Damian. And, in addition, I promise you with my good name as a recapper but also as a man that at least 80\% of those names are spelled within three letters of the correct spelling.