"Nice to meet you," Randi says flatly. "Very nice," adds Claudia. Yeah, nice try.

One not terrible idea that I mentioned last week would be a great hook for the opening segment of The Bachelor/ette is that Randi has to narrow the field down to three men right away. From this pack of the unemployed, the friends of people on the production staff, and the deranged, Randi narrows it down to Jeff, Nick, and Scott, perhaps the only three men whose names she can remember. The other seven dash off to think they're hot enough property to get themselves TV agents (they're not), and Claudia mourns, "Such a waste." Now, see, that I also don't get. If she were playing a character where she was totally jaded about reality television and was all consistently snarky about everything, that comment would have been awesome. OR if she had been a famous washed-out reality-show hag like Susan Hawk or Christina from The Bachelor who was delivering these lines as if she were all mournful and ghouly and had the chains of Jacob Marley and The Ghost Of Reality-Show Contestants Past draped around her next, that would be awesome, too. But this group of totally uncontextualized weirdos is made even more incomprehensible by Claudia editorializing like that, and if y'all really want this show to work, there should be no moment this early in it that's met with nothing more emotionally invested a response than, "...and you are...?"