My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance
Episode 1

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The Con Is Wan

Evening. The Host tells Steve and Randi that they've gotten through their first day, and that they should say their goodnights and retire to their separate beds. Once The Host takes her leave, Steve turns to Randi and says, "A little goodnight kiss?" With that, the shot actually freezes on a fuzzy Randi rising from the bed in shock and horror as she's propelled upward by the trajectory of the bile rising so very high in her throat. She takes a confessional moment to proclaim Steve's request "not acceptable," and back in the bedroom she sheepishly tells him that she'll allow a kiss on the cheek. So one of the dramatic conventions of the show is that Steve's supposed to convince her that he likes her more and more and more and more. Check. Nothing like a bigfatobnoxiousmotif. Really. We got it. It's fine. Thanks.

It's Day #2 (and eleven to go, and eleven to go, I'm alone in a room, I'm holding my knees to my chest, I'm rocking back and forth, I think I might be crying, just eleven to go, just eleven to go) at Big Fat Bungalow. We join Randi at breakfast, as she walks into the dining room wearing a pink sweatsuit with a maroon stripe across the top, because the dominant fashion aesthetic you want to get across to a national audience (oh, fine, just me) the first time you're ever allowed to wear your own clothes is from the "Pictures Of Djb's Long Island Living Room Two Years Before He Was Born" collection. They haven't panned down yet, but I'd gather from my context clues that to complete the outfit her shoes must be made entirely of Formica, the Official Building Material Of The Suburban '70s. Randi muses on the fact that she woke up not believe that this whole thing wasn't a dream, and resolves to "look at Steve as one of [her] students." She's going to scam her parents by pretending to be engaged to a first-grader? Oh, crap. I just tossed Fox its next reality-show pitch completely by accident, didn't I?

Steve, meanwhile, is upstairs with one of the producers, whispering in a low tone about how the morning would start. Steve crams a tissue up his nose and they hatch something about a nosebleed. And, y'know, who is this guy, anyway? Wouldn't we be slightly better served by knowing something about him? Right now, this show is being told mostly through Randi's point of view, but she's not the sympathetic character because the joke's on her, so we're really left laughing at her and rooting for Steve. The man is an actor -- one who, I would guess, had some kind of improvisational background that allowed for him to get here to begin with. Why no clip package on his career until now? A shot of him performing with whatever cleverly-named improv group spawned him ("Happily Ever Laughter" or "Joking In The Boys' Room" or something?) to get us on his side a little more? Or perhaps there could be some stake in it for him, like he gets a recurring role on Mad TV if he's able to pull off "this acting role of a lifetime." Or burn the whole thing to the ground. Either way. I'm telling you the joke's on us here, people. We just don't know how yet.

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My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance

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