Anyway, Claudia enters to let them know that Randi's family is on their way from Littleton, and will arrive this afternoon. The families won't meet each other yet, we learn, because Steve's family has been sent on "a day trip," while we bounce back to Littleton to find the Coys packing. Randi's little brother has a gigantic flag of Italy over his bed, which either means he just got back from a school trip to Italy and he now "wants to live there for a while when he graduates college," or he's just a really big "Summer Games" fan on the Commodore 64. That's why I had the national flag of "Epyx" over my bed when I was in high school. ["Wasn't it an Irish flag? It looked more orange than red to me. And 'Coy' is probably an Irish name." -- Wing Chun]

"An afternoon on a luxurious yacht" is our promo for next week, even though we're still trapped in this episode like the three villains behind glass in Superman II. Claudia tells them that they don't have to land the engagement news just yet, and Randi, really terrified, whispers a breathless "okay." Claudia tells them to "get ready to set sail," because she seems to be on her way to audition for a regional production of Anything Goes at the Ambiguland Players Theater. And she's gone. You're the top, Claudia DiFolco. You're the coliseum.

Randi also has a SISTER? We're in a car now, Sergeant Dad driving (natch) to the airport. Randi worries that they're going to "walk right out the door" when they come in, and Mommy wants someone who is going to "blend" with the family. Out of O Little Town Of Littleton they go, flying on a stock footage plane we're supposed to believe they're on, as Sergeant Dad promises as a parting shot, "I'm gonna be tuning in real closely." At the statistical halfway mark of this load of crap, he's probably the only one.