My Mom Is Going To Kill Me!

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My Mom Is Going To Kill Me!

Previously on Occupational Spaz-zards: Poker player, flight attendant, gravedigger, radio host...a whole collection of unusual occupations were spotlighted, with no particular standouts as far as usefulness, particularly since the poker player had the worst poker face since Don Knotts. Leslie's conscience didn't allow her to sit through a welcome ceremony conducted by Buddhist monks, while Ashley's stomach didn't allow her to retain anything. Chicken (the chicken farmer of chicken-raising fame) thought his tribe was a bunch of mothercluckers, so he chose pouting as his strategy. Todd decided he would be the I Am Smartâ„¢ operator of the season, because he remembers how well that strategy worked for Nobody Z. Zilchston III. Zhan Hu lost the challenge and went to tribal council, where Dave and Peih-Gee decided to volunteer as leaders, and then, instead of Ashley, the tribe sent home Chicken, who was all, "DAYUM!" and earned himself many appearances on various pop-culture clip shows all week as a result.

Zhan Hu, Day 4. The day after the first tribal council. It's been raining like crazy, and this sad little tribe is standing around in puddles getting drizzled on and trying to figure out how to make a fire with the flint they were allowed to bring home. Dave lectures and wheedles and wheedles and lectures, telling them that they have to make the fire pit right the first time. He's the Boy-Scoutiest bartender/ex-model I've ever seen, that's for sure. Dave tells us that he didn't want to be a leader, but he just couldn't help but "embrace it." He is lying, of course; he wants nothing more than to be in charge, because knowing it all is his personality, and that's what he'd be better off "embracing," if we're going to go that way. Some members of the tribe differ from Dave about where to build the fire pit, but Dave comes over with the gently steepled hands, telling them how they're just delaying and obstructing by having opinions of their own. Don't they understand? Help him help you, other people on the tribe!

In further news of questionable dynamics, it seems that Peih-Gee's plans of co-leadership are falling by the wayside, because Dave has decided that his "embrace" of leadership will include throwing elbows at anyone who wants to share power. Erik the Cute Musician (whose name I repeatedly misspelled late in last week's recap after getting it right at the beginning) looks at Dave like he's got a few guitar strings he wouldn't mind wrapping around Dave's neck. (Or drum heads, or a big electric keyboard, or a spiked melodica or fancy banjo or particularly heavy kazoo...whatever.) Erik says that Peih-Gee is just below Dave in terms of responsibility, referring to her as "the balance of power," and I don't actually know what that means. He goes on to explain that Dave pretty much ignores everyone else's opinion, and I do know what that means, even before we see it demonstrated when Jaime expresses interest in perhaps eating before the challenge they're anticipating this afternoon. Dave barely avoids literally patting her on the head, but he's close. Erik says that people are beginning to be a lot less sure about Dave's leadership, which is accurate in the sense that I think that now, rather than thinking he'd make a good leader, they're thinking he'd make a good drowning victim.

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