My Name Is Earl

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Creative Writing

Well, this is going to be a weird one to weecap. If you didn't see the episode, it's a series of fantasy sequences, so the episode is not that plot-driven and a lot of the jokes are visual in nature. But I bet if you were high? This episode was AWESOME.

Earl? Still in prison. Lying in his bunk at night, voice-overing about how nighttime is his favorite time in prison, because it's "dark and peaceful." At least until the outside lights come on, flooding the room with light. So Earl feels trapped. Darnell feels trapped, because he has to boil crabs, when he thinks it's cruel. Catalina feels trapped because she has to dance for creeps for a living. One such patron (holding flowers and a rope) comes to the dressing room asking, "Is that Latina girl going to be walking to her car soon? Because they're really strict about curfew at the halfway house." Randy feels trapped because he got his hands stuck in the pickle jar, trying to get "the baby one at the bottom." Joy feels trapped by her bratty kids. One of them is wearing Joy's thong on his head like a pirate patch, and she tells him to remove it because he "had pinkeye last week." Ew.

Earl takes a creative writing class in prison. The teacher, an older lady, is wearing a helmet and head-to-toe bullet proof body armor. The mother of one of my high school classmates used to teach English to prisoners in Attica. I bet she's got some stories. Anyway, the teacher tells the prisoners that writing can help them escape from prison, if only in their minds. She passes out pads of paper, and Earl gets fired up about writing, at least until one prisoner stabs another with a pen.

Earl lies in his bunk, trying to write, but he's finding he has no imagination. His bunkmate Sonny wants to know how to spell hematoma for his story about beating up a gymnast, and Earl accuses him of making up words. Sonny advises Earl to close his eyes and look inside his brain ("like when you're driving on meth"), so Earl gives it a shot. We see Earl standing in a blank white room. He's soon joined by a gymnast with a black eye. Earl doesn't want him there, but the gymnast can't leave until Earl stops thinking about him. Kind of like the polar bear.

Cut to Earl erasing some lines, explaining to Randy about his writer's block. Randy is inspired and grabs the pad and pencil. So what's in Randy's imagination? Think about every bad '80s action show, and that's a good start. Randy and his buddy/sidekick H.R. Pufnstuf are working out when there's a call about Earl being in trouble at the Crab Shack. Randy proclaims, "Now trouble's in trouble," and calls for his orangutan to drive them over there. They drive away, and apparently it's a long drive, because they go through the desert, and then the snow, and then the desert again. At the Crab Shack, Randy spies a sumo wrestler guarding the door, and some puppet snipers in the trees. He uses his X-ray vision to see Earl and Catalina tied up inside, surrounded by boxes that say ACME, and guarded by ninjas. The bad guy, who is wearing a white suit and has a horn like a rhinoceros on his head, says that Randy will never get inside. Earl thinks they're done for, and confesses that his mustache actually belongs to Randy. But wait! Randy and H.R. have arrived, via the magic of a shrinking machine that allowed them to crawl under the door. The four ninjas strike fighting poses as Randy and H.R. grow back to normal size. They fight. Randy's stunt double looks nothing like him, but I wasn't sure if that was on purpose or not. One of the ninjas is revealed to be Joy, who tells Randy to finish her off. Randy says, "I'd never hurt a lady." Joy sighs with relief, and Randy snaps her neck saying, "Lucky for me, you're no lady." He frees Earl, and then hits the jukebox to make it start playing. Cheerleaders run out and start shaking a tail feather. The fantasy sequence ends, and Earl comments that the doctor told them long ago that Randy was "borderline artistic." I think the doctor must have had a speech impediment.

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My Name Is Earl

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