Earl and Randy are searching at the trailer park for the Turners, because, you know, the government tends to just hide people right in plain sight outside of their house. Or so I've been told. They get a clue in form of Willy delivering the mail. He tells them their mail's being forwarded, and that's all he knows. So Earl thinks he can find them via mail. Next thing we know, Catalina's putting them in a "first-class box" to mail them away.

Back in the witness protection secret hideout, Joy's telling their orientation leader that she's not happy with the name she's been given, and that she'd like the name "Goldie Crystal," but pronounced "Cristal," like what Diddy drinks. He tells her she can't just choose because these names are worked up in a top-secret Pentagon wing using complicated algorithms. She tells him she doesn't look like a Phyllis Rosenstein; she looks like the woman Marty leaves Phyllis for. She's too classy to be from Columbus, and needs to be from someplace like "Panama City Beach, Florida." She also doesn't sew clothes for dogs. The only things she's ever sewn is her stab wound on prom night. Classy! The orientation guy tells her to give it time and she'll get used to it. Just then another government guy walks in, leading a collie in a top hat. Joy is appalled.

Back in their temporary home, Darnell and the boys are watching TV. Joy's upset that he wouldn't let her change anything about their new identity, but Darnell tells her it's just a name. They're still the same people, except now Jewish and they're considering changing his blood type to O-positive. The boys ask if she got their new names changed. She calls them Ira and Lenny, so I'm taking that as a no.

Earl and Randy are sitting inside their giant first-class crate next to a roadside mailbox. They talk about how this will be a fun adventure just like Randy's dreams, in which Earl always makes love. Ew. Willy picks up the crate and talks to Catalina, who he assumes is inside, telling her to have a good vacation.