Back with the Turners, Darnell's wearing a brown tweed suit and yarmulke. He can't believe it took him into his 30s to realize he looks this good in tweed. And he really does. I think this is his new look. The boys come out in their own mini versions of the same get-up, but with blue tweed instead of brown. They happily say, "Shalom, Dad!" He responds likewise. Then Joy comes out so Marty can see who he gets to cuddle with tonight. She has a black wig, glasses, and a totally non-descript frumpy outfit, including a turtleneck, cardigan, and a long gray sweater. That's right: at least three layers on top. Joy is horrified to realize she's a "before"! Darnell says they all have to sacrifice and explains how they're going to surgically remove his hair and graft it to his face in a few days. We get to see a picture of what he'll look like. Joy hates it. They would like Joy to also gain 30 pounds, the orientation leader tells her, and then he offers her a plate of double-stuffed tater skins. She doesn't want him to try to turn her into a fattie, and she storms off all, "Hell no! Hell no! Hell no!" The orientation guy asks Darnell where she's going, and if she knows they're in a bunker half a mile under the Mall of America.
Darnell tries to follow her, with Agent Orientation following. Darnell can't track her scent when she's not chewing gum. Agent Orientation tells Darnell to find her, and what a risk she is. That's why they advised him to leave Camden when he had the chance, so he wouldn't get mixed up with people like her. Darnell says that's his wife Agent Orientation's talking about. Agent Orientation explains to us all that Darnell was only supposed to be in Camden for six months, and if he'd taken the job they had for him Tokyo, he would be the one who invented "Dance, Dance Revolution." But he wanted to waste his life in a trailer park. Agent Orientation walks off as Darnell yells after him that it wasn't a waste, but the best decision of his life.
Joy comes out of the closet, where she's heard everything. She can't believe he didn't leave Camden for the glamorous beaches of Tokyo. He says he couldn't leave his baby, which I assume means her, but he also had another baby in the form of Earl Jr. that he probably didn't want to leave. She hugs him and tells him she loves him, Marty Rosenstein, and that she'll hold up her end of the deal no matter how much it hurts. He hears her, because they're going to snip off the tip of his penis tomorrow.