We get a little reminder about what happened last week in the form of the news, which Randy and Earl are watching at the Crab Shack. Apparently, the news in Camden has a segment called "Loser of the Week," and that honor goes to Joy due to her performance and rage on Estrada or Nada. Earl recaps it all for us in voiceover, but we can all remember a week back (plus we have the weecap if we're forgetful, so there's no need to repeat it all here.
We jump into the present as the Turner family is being led into a witness protection relocation facility, according to voiceover Earl. The guy who leads them in turns and tells them, "I know it's small, but it was good enough for Tupac. Uh ... you didn't hear that." I will agree with him that it is, in fact, very small. It looks like it has bunk beds, a regular bed, a couch, a coffee table, dressers and a TV, all in one room. So, the only other possible rooms might be the kitchen and the bathroom. It will be a little more difficult to send the boys out of the room for most of the scenes living like this, won't it?
We find out quickly this is the case, as Joy comes out of the bathroom to yell at Darnell, and you can see Earl Jr. behind her on the top bunk throughout the scene. She yells about how frustrating it is that they've been locked in here for so long, and how they have no idea where they are, and she doesn't know what Darnell did to get into the witness protection in the first place. Darnell tells her no one does, except Mr. Turtle, who will never tell because he's lost and also? A turtle. Joy makes a face that says, "And you are supposed to be the smart one? WTF?!" Which I can't help agreeing with right now.
In walks their witness protection orientation helper (the guy who told them about Tupac). He gives them a packet that he says contains their new identity. He leaves to give them time to look it over. Joy looks at it and freaks: "The Rosensteins?!" Darnell doesn't mind this, since he does speak Hebrew. She goes on that they are from Columbus (gasp!) and they bowl (egads!), and that they design clothes for their pet collie. Wow, the government is clever and evil. Darnell's all smiles, but Joy says she wants something better. Darnell points out they're trailer park underachievers with two hyperactive (really? Earl, Jr. has not moved on that bunk bed during this scene), pre-diabetic kids, so this is actually better.