Earl and Randy are on their own, so they're in the garbage out back looking for something that might help. But all Randy can find are a bunch of little balloons with mayonnaise in them. Show, do you really have to be so gross? And, also, how is it possible that Randy wouldn't know what a condom is? He has had sex, after all. Please don't tell me there are a bunch of little Randys running around. Little Chubby comes out and starts shooting at Randy and Earl, and they take off running.
Earl and Randy go to talk to Officer Jeff, who's cleaning the word "PIG" off his patrol car. He says the worst part is he doesn't know if this is because he's a cop or because he's fat. Earl and Randy aren't really interested. They just want to report being shot at. Jeff wants them to come back to the station and look at mug shots and have cocoa. They don't need to look at mug shots, though, because it was Little Chubby. Uh-oh. Wrong answer. Jeff says Chubby bought off the mayor, and now there's an ordinance that says if anyone accuses Little Chubby of anything, Jeff has to trump up charges against them. He's about to cuff them, but Earl wonders if he can't just write him a ticket for a busted light or something. Jeff says okay, since they're friends, and then busts Earl's light and writes the ticket. Earl says maybe Little Chubby is above the law, but he believes science is still on his side. His exact voiceover words: "If a father and a son have the same DNA, and the father of the son is also the son of a father... anyway, the plan is to dig up Chubby, Sr." So they do. While they're digging up Big Chubby, Randy says he all of a sudden gets their dad's "I'd rather be fishing" license plate frame, because he actually would rather be fishing right now. Earl wants Randy to flick on his lighter to see what good pieces of him are left. But Big Chubby's last ritual included being doused in Wild Turkey, so he bursts into flames. And a surveillance camera is watching.
When they get back to the hotel, Randy can't get the smell of Burnt Chubby out of his nose. Their room is padlocked shut, so Catalina explains that Little Chubby bought the motel, so they don't live here anymore. Earl says snarkily into the surveillance camera, "Ooh, I'm impressed! You bought the motel!" Then Earl notices the name's been changed to "Earl's a Homo Inn," which he says doesn't bother him. Earl goes to the ATM to get money to find a place to stay and buy some alcohol to help them solve this mess. But it's Bank of Chubby, so Earl gets a receipt that says "Screw You." Earl says into that camera that he gets that Little Chubby owns the whole town and everyone, and that Little Chubby wins. Earl and Randy sit on a bench, and Randy says the ATM machine is really a jerk.