The show ends on a strong note, and even with a bit of a cliffhanger -- but not the one the episode title makes us expect. Earl speaks at Dodge's class, and when the classmates wonder why Earl's an absentee father, Earl tells Joy it's time to tell Dodge who his real father is. Problem is, Joy's told Earl and Darnell different stories as to who Dodge's real father is. It's not either of those, though, she confesses: It's Little Chubby (Norm MacDonald). She tried to tell him way back when, but she saw him threaten another woman who said she was pregnant with his baby, so she gave up. But then Earl goes to tell Little Chubby so they can have some of his stripper/restaurant/other odd businesses money. Little Chubby doesn't believe it, and a DNA test proves him right. Joy's sure it was him, though, and she relives the night at a Halloween party when she got pregnant by him. He was dressed up as a skeleton. Turns out Earl also dressed up as a skeleton that night, and he really is Dodge's father. Nice twist. But it doesn't stop there, because then Darnell notices that his DNA doesn't match Earl Jr.'s, so he must not be his real father. Joy tells everyone (but mostly Darnell) to just calm down and then it's over for the season.
Earl tells us in voiceover that Darnell's nervous to go to Dodge's career day at school, when parents come in and talk about their careers. Darnell's rehearsing for Earl and Randy. He talks about going to the fish market, and getting there after the best sushi restaurants and even the middle-of-the-road establishments, so that he gets the gross crabs that fall apart when you pick them up. He says the diversity of crabs is why he likes being a Crab Man. Oh, and he used to work for a clandestine organization. The end. What did Earl and Randy think? Earl says he learned a lot, such as: He didn't know there were crabs that looked good. Randy thought it was too long, but Earl tells Darnell not to worry about it. Randy traded his molar (which was all black on the underside, natch) for a watch, so now he's timing everything. Joy walks in and wants to talk to Darnell about a bit of an awkward situation with Dodge. Joy doesn't want Earl to leave, either. Dodge wants Earl to go to his career day, because everyone else will have their real fathers there. Earl wants to know why Joy hasn't told Dodge that Earl's not his real dad, and she says she's trying to give him a solid foundation. Of, you know, lies. Joy tells Earl he owes Dodge.
And apparently he does, because Number 174 on his list is "Ruined Dodge's career day." We flash back to that, in 2005, when Earl went to Dodge's career day, claiming he was a world-famous, highly paid doctor who makes almost $27,000 a year. Ha. I actually adore that Earl thinks that's highly paid. Earl shows them an X-ray machine and then an X-ray of Randy's tummy, which has a yo-yo and a car in it, but Earl whispers to Randy about the little Lego construction guy that was supposed to be in there. Randy says that it's stuck in his throat. Just then, another father, who happens to be a cop, gets a call about two white male suspects who burglarized the hospital. They may be traveling with a stolen X-ray machine. Randy thinks they may be onto them. Randy and Earl run out, and the cop father follows and beats Earl to the ground in the hall, in front of all of the students. Afterward, the cop comes in and introduces himself as Billy's dad, a cop. Credits.
Earl's talking to the class at Dodge's make-up career day as his voiceover wonders how you tell a kid that his real dad is someone from a Ronnie James Dio concert. In the class, he's telling them about the list when a girl raises her hand and asks why Earl doesn't have Dodge every weekend like all the other divorced dads. She wonders why the black guy always drops him off. Dodge asks if Earl doesn't like him; Earl says he does like him, but he doesn't want to get in stepdad Darnell's way, and since he already lives with Darnell, maybe Dodge should start shifting his love in that direction. Randy leans over to Dodge in class and says, "Burn."