My Name Is Earl

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No Meat With Soap!

Earl glares at Billie as he walks out the door of their motel room to go help Joel, who's working as a store sweeper. As they talk, a cashier throws a can of peas to Joel for a price check and Earl swipes it out of midair. Joel gives Earl a little test at how quickly he can grab food items, and Earl passes the test. Wow, I failed to notice on first glance that besides Joel's gross crooked pinky, his other three fingers are fused together. Anyway, Joel decides that he should train Earl to become the World's Greatest Bagger.

Because of karma, Earl agrees, and calling the experience "Rocky meets Supermarket Sweep. " A training montage to the theme from Rocky follows: Blindfolded Earl putting groceries in bags, Earl running his fingers through chocolate donuts as if it were an obstacle course, Earl bagging groceries with weights on his wrists, and Earl and Joel reviewing film of Earl bagging and analyzing his movements. What, no chasing chickens? Or runaway grocery carts or something? No running up steps while carrying grocery bags? And you call this a Rocky training montage.

Finally, Earl gets it and is ready to head to competition. He wins the first three rounds, and heads to the finals against Lance Parker, also known as Bagger Lance. Heh. Some kid asks for his autograph, and Lance says, "You want that on paper or plastic? [Louder] This kid just asked for my autograph and I asked him if he wanted it on paper or plastic! " So that tells you everything you need to know about Lance. Besides the fact that he has an awesome mustache. Although so does Earl, so I guess the mustache thing is a draw. Joel tells Earl he really needs to beat Lance, and Earl replies, "Don't worry, Joel. It's in the bag. " How Jason Lee could say that line with a straight face, I do not know.

Randy gives Earl a massage in the dressing room (?) while they wait for the competition to begin. Billie bops in and blithely announces that she finished her list. Randy says that Earl should go in order too, because then they could keep better track of their progress. I feel like that's a shout-out to the fans. Anyway, Billie just called everyone up and said she was sorry. Turns out Billie didn't even call everyone - she just tried a little bit, and kind of called it a day. She makes fun of Earl for only finishing half of his list in three years, and says that he needs to work smarter, not harder. She starts poking Earl in a teasing, annoying way, and he finally blows up and says that the other things that annoyed him were probably his own issues, but this one isn't. She's wrong. I love that Randy saw this blowup coming and kind of wandered off and stood facing the corner so that he didn't have to watch. Earl tells Billie that she can't half-ass it when it comes to karma. He points a finger in her face and she grabs it and twists it around, breaking it. Randy says that he can fix it, and he tries to twist it back the other way. It is hurting my fingers just to watch.

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My Name Is Earl

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