My Name Is Earl

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DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
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No Turtles Were Harmed In This Episode

Ronnie's kicked out now, and eating eggs with a lady he's calling "Homeless Mom." He asks for more, and she says she'll see if she can find another nest. Earl can't believe this. Ronnie says Earl's just mad he figured out how to feed himself. Earl says that's not what happened; he talked a homeless woman into cooking for him. He tells Ronnie he's pathetic and to act like a man, and that he's too old to live in a motel room someone else is paying for. Randy tries to interrupt, but Earl keeps going: "You've got no job, no skills. All you do is mooch off of other people." Randy tries to interrupt again, but Earl goes on that Ronnie's 22 and needs some self-respect. Randy interrupts again, and Earl tells him to go wait in the hotel room. Randy points out that he's exactly what Earl just described. Earl says it's not about him; it's about this loser. Randy says if he thinks Ronnie's a loser, then Randy's a loser, too. Randy asks Earl if he thinks he can take care of himself. Earl high-pitches, "Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course." Randy knows he's lying, so he's leaving to prove to Earl he can live like a grown-up. Ronnie goes with him and says he's going to follow him and probably live off of him. Randy smiles, turns to Earl and tells him he got himself a Randy. Yeah, he did. Only a less endearing, less adorable Randy.

Outside Earl's hotel room, Catalina's asking him if he's worried about Randy. He says he isn't, because Randy will be back as soon as he's hungry or forgets he's running away. Joy pulls up and yells at Catalina for picking the stupid turtle, making Darnell suspicious. She wants to know where the other turtle is, and Catalina says he's in the pool with all the other animals people dump, including a Shetland pony. Uh-oh, don't tell PETA. Catalina tells Earl she's conflicted: She'd love to rat Joy out, but she doesn't want to hurt Crab Man. Earl thinks Mr. Turtle will be okay, but Catalina goes on and on about how dangerous the world is for a turtle, all helpless like that. Earl agrees, but he's thinking of Randy. Catalina calls him "slow" and "vulnerable." Earl says he eats anything people give him. Catalina says if he rolls on his back, he can't get up, and Earl says he knows, because he has to roll him over all the time. Then he yells "Randy!"

Next thing we know, he's at Rachel and Daniel's telling them he screwed up and has lost their boys. Rachel can't believe Earl made him have a little boy and now made her lose him! Earl gets it; he lost his too. They all agree tough love is horrible, because you can't help being emotional about someone you love. And now Randy's out there in 67-degree weather. Rachel asks if Earl packed them light sweaters, and Earl says no. She screams, because we all know what happens if you don't pack light sweaters in 67-degree weather, right? That's right: You get sort of chilly. They hit the streets looking for the boys. They look at the morgue, but luckily don't find them there, although they do find a really outdated SARS joke (or maybe a shout-out to TWoP co-founder Sars?).

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My Name Is Earl

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