Geraldo says everyone thought Ernie would be there forever, and they were right... if by "forever" they meant April 9, 2001. Stuart (still a cop then) fills us in on the details of that day: Pretty quiet morning. A lady officer named Lisa had brought in some pumpkin cream cheese and bagels. Then the 911 phones started ringing. Joy calls first: She went to the Crab Shack and no one was there. She thinks they're pulling a scam. Darnell calls to say his boss is missing. The 911 guy thinks that sounds like a good thing and laughs. Randy prank-calls. Officer Jeff, who is way orange, explains they don't look for people in the first 24 hours, because they usually show up on their own. And they don't look that hard after 24 hours, because by then, they're usually dead. Stuart asks if Jeff's wearing makeup. He says he's not, but we all know he's lying. He says they started to suspect murder. Stuart wipes Jeff's makeup off, and Jeff admits it's makeup, because he looked terrible on Cops. Wait, was the first Cops that old? I'm confused by this show's timeline, or lack thereof.
Geraldo wonders how you narrow down the murder suspects in a town where the Little League teams are sponsored by bail bondsmen, pawn shops and methadone clinics. Was it: the petty thief, his simpleton brother, the stay-at-trailer mom, the black co-worker, the immigrant stripper, the so-called celebrity, the small-time agent, the black co-worker, or the daytime hooker. Geraldo goes to a commercial, and we will too, but not until Darnell asks if they just showed him twice. Joy doesn't think so, but Darnell insists.
We're back, and straight in Inside Probe. Geraldo catches us up, but I'm not really into repeating this already lame plot. Anyway, the case looked like it would be closed, until the police caught a break. Cut to Stuart drinking coffee. They were going through Ernie's stuff to try to find stuff to auction off, and they came across actual evidence: hundreds of threatening letters addressed to Ernie. They were all from Randy. They said stuff like, "How dare you stop pervading toothpix," because the food he serves really requires it. Randy disgustingly includes the stuff he's had stuck in his teeth, and hopes Ernie chokes on it. He also wrote letters about Ernie only serving "fish wings" (Randy's favorite item) on Wednesdays. He includes a list of famous people who agree with him, and says something bad will happen if Ernie doesn't serve fish wings every day. Randy was questioned by the police about what kind of bad things would happen. He doesn't know, but fish wings are great. He talks about the toothpick anger, too, and gets all fired up. They keep him in custody, but aren't convinced he could do it by himself, so they question Earl.