We open with Earl, walking through a convenience store with a bunch of balloons. He tells us that he thought said balloons would get him out of trouble. I would personally go for a Slurpee and a Slim Jim, but that's just me. In any case, it turns out that Earl recently did something really bad that he had to add to his list -- #261. And it all started with the mail.
Cut to Earl and Randy's motel room, where One-Eyed Willie the mailman throws a pile of mail on the floor. Randy and Catalina are on the bed watching an old episode of H.R. Pufnstuff featuring a talking flute emerging from somebody's hands. Hmmm. Foreshadowing? Catalina asks, "Why does the flute talk? Is he magic? Is he the ghost of a deaf flute?" No, Catalina, he is the ghost of somebody who did a lot of acid. Randy opens a piece of mail addressed to him, which turns out to be an invitation to Joy and Darnell's wedding. Earl turns around in shock and wonders if Willie dropped his invitation in the parking lot. Catalina doesn't think so, as the invitation reads, "Randy Hickey plus anyone but Earl." Oooh, that is cold. Randy, meanwhile, wonders if he should have his chicken grilled or McNuggeted at the reception. My only advice is if you choose the latter, DO NOT LOOK INSIDE THE MCNUGGET. Seriously.
Earl wishes he had been invited, because he loves chicken. Catalina says she loves weddings -- the food, the cake, the dancing. On "dancing" she starts, well, dancing. In a way that makes Randy's eyes pop out. He asks her to be his "plus anyone but Earl," and she agrees. Randy notes that the wedding is next Wednesday. Earl gets really upset, says that Joy never stops, and stomps out of the room. Randy wonders whether, if he chooses the McNugget option, he can get two dipping sauces. He likes hot mustard to begin with, chased by a bit of honey. It's like a small meal with a tiny dessert every 10-15 seconds. That's actually a good plan, but I'd exchange the mustard for barbeque.
Earl barges into Joy's house. Joy, for her part, has one of those old cassette player/recorders with the buttons on the front, and she's holding up a microphone that runs from the cassette player to the radio. She's making a mix tape, so she's waiting for the radio station to play her request. Oh, fifth grade, how I miss you. Earl angrily asks Joy if she has to get married next Wednesday, on his birthday. Oooh, cold as ICE! And Joy is not willing to sacrifice. She unconvincingly says, "Is next Wednesday your birthday? I did not know that." Earl asks why she invited all of his friends when she knows he's having a party at the Crab Shack. DJ Dave and all! And it's the one time of the year Earl gets drunk enough to break dance. I bet Arsenio Hall finds lots of excuses to do that throughout the year. Veteran's Day, Administrative Professionals' Day. You name it. We get a brief flash back to Earl in full Electric Boogaloo mode, then cut back to Joy saying that he'll have to do the worm all by his lonesome, because DJ Dave is doing her wedding. She gave him a $20 gift certificate for Patty The Daytime Hooker. Ooh, she's a cold-hearted snake. Earl, don't play the fool.