Earl and Randy get a visit from Danny Glover, who's looking for Darnell. He straps them to a bomb, but they still won't talk, so he uses trickery in the form of fake tears and a true story of being Darnell's (or Harry Monroe's) father. Earl goes to see Darnell to find out if Danny Glover's lying (he's not), but Darnell's Spy Daddy followed them. Darnell apparently was raised by his super-tough, super-serious, super-cold agent father from the time he was little, to do all the things a spy does best: Rubik's cube, languages, martini tasting, martial arts. He's basically Sydney Bristow in the most cheaply made episode of Alias in history. It's amusing, though, especially if you were an Alias fan. There's also a small homage to 24, which is also fun.
Danny Glover and Darnell fight, but they're both so bad-ass that they quickly realize it's not worth it. So instead Danny Glover takes his son on one last mission, and then he'll be free forever. They drag Earl along for some kind of collateral, but keep him drugged up the whole time. He wakes up and sees some things: Darnell and Danny Glover defusing bombs, stealing artifacts in exchange for information, being buried alive, Danny Glover searching for his contact lens. To top it all off, they have to jump out of a plane when their fancy military helicopter starts to crash. There are only two parachutes (of course!), so Earl gets one, and then Darnell gets another. His dad tells him he loves him, and then Darnell wants a hug. He grabs his dad tight and jumps out with him in his arms, but we don't see what happens after that ...
Until Earl and Darnell show up at the trailer, where Joy and Randy are dreading the possibility of life without their respective significant others. But Earl and Darnell get dropped off in an SUV and all is right with the world -- or at least Camden -- forever. Darnell no longer has to be in witness protection or anything.
We open with an Earl voiceover, as he tells us he got a chance to see Joy and Darnell since they went into witness protection, but Randy still hasn't seen them. We see Randy sitting with a nearly life-sized version of Milo (or Franklin) that is apparently his Darnell stand-in. In other words: Randy misses them. Earl puts up a brave front for Randy.
When he's on his own, though, he admits he's missing them, too. As he's looking at a photo of their whole family, there's a knock on the trailer door. It's Danny Glover, who's looking for Darnell. Earl says he doesn't know anyone by that name, but Danny Glover points out Darnell in the photo Earl's holding. Earl says the previous tenant probably left that photo behind, but Danny Glover points out that Earl's in the photo too. Earl says that guy does look kinda like him. He doesn't high-pitch voice, though, so I guess he's not lying. Danny Glover handcuffs a bomb in a briefcase to Earl's wrist, and tells him if he doesn't want to end up in pieces in his neighbors' azaleas, he'll tell Danny Glover where Darnell is. Earl hesitates and asks what azaleas are.
Meanwhile, in witness protection, Darnell comes home and hears gunshots. Turns out it's just the videogames Dodge and Earl Jr. are playing with other boys from the neighborhood. Joy didn't hear Darnell come in, so she tells the boys that she knows shooting hookers is fun, but it's too loud, so could they put some headphones on? Darnell asks when she got them an Xbox, and she tells him she had to do it since they weren't making friends based on their personalities. Darnell says they can't afford luxury items, but she tells him to just worry about selling insurance and leave the rest to her. He asks what's for dinner, and she tells him they ate already and throws a TV dinner at him. Darnell misses eating dinner as a family, but Joy tells him this is hard work for her, too. She's had to come up with three disguises to make people in the neighborhood think they have a maid, a nanny and a gardener. She puts on a sombrero, a Mexican blanket and a black moustache and says it's time for Carlos to mow the lawn. I guess I always thought if you were put in witness protection, the government would foot the bill. [I don't understand why Darnell has to have a job. - Z]