Randy and Earl go back to Mr. Hill's to break in and look for the will. Randy would also like to steal some stuff. He even made a list of stuff they're out of: deodorant, Fig Newtons, underwear. Joy and her friends have followed in a big, brown van. Inside, Earl finds the will as Joy listens at the window. Earl reads that, "Charities shall receive monies in the amount of $280,000." Joy gasps, and Earl almost hears her, but shrugs it off. Huh. That's odd that he wouldn't look hard to see what made the noise or anything, don't you think? He tells Randy the lawyer's name and address are on the will. Joy goes back to the van and tells Sylvia and Tammy the good news. Tammy says she's getting a fur coat with the head still on it so people will stare and she can be all, "Yeah, this bitch is real." Fur jokes. Nice. The ladies duck as Earl and Randy come out.
But in the other car, Earl notices Joy and tells Randy they need to split up. He tells Randy to take the will and walk to the lawyer's office. He thinks Joy will be sure Earl has it and follow him. Randy fakes a fight to give himself a reason to get out of the car. He takes off walking, and the brown van does follow Earl. Unfortunately, Joy got out. She steps in front of Randy and tells him to give her the will. He gets all stuttery and we know he'll give it up quickly.
So quickly that the ladies are walking into the lawyer's office asking for their money before you know it. But the lawyer, Mr. Fischer, tells them Earl's already there, and he told Mr. Fischer everything. Earl leaves, and Mr. Fischer tells them he has a counteroffer. He could make their charities legal and let them have the cash. He doesn't need any money, but he is really lonely and would like sex. He's hoping for Joy, but she won't go for it. She offers up Sylvia and $6,000 or Tammy and $3,500. He asks her to go to $5,000 on Tammy and he takes the deal. Tammy starts stripping down, but she's not happy about it. While they do it under his desk, Joy and Sylvia get the $5,000 from a local loan shark. They show up with it, and he gives them each a check. They walk out and he calls Earl to tell him it worked. Earl asks if he got all the money, and Mr. Fischer says he did and asks Earl what he's going to do with it. Earl's going to take it back to where it belongs.
Then, in a voiceover, he says Mr. Hill's not really dead. This was all a great big scam. And here's how he did it. He got Mr. Hill out of town by arranging for him to "win" a vacation to the National Rodeo Championships. And he stuck to the old scam rules: Keep Randy oblivious (we flashback to earlier when Randy found the obituary that Earl apparently paid to have in the paper; what happened to fact-checking, anyway?) to help sell the scam. Earl knew how it all would play out. He planted the fake will and then "found" it, knowing Joy was listening. Then he gave the will to Randy, knowing that Joy would think she was a step ahead of him. And then, to get the women to hand over the money, he needed someone they'd trust, so he got the bearded scammer to shave down, clean up, and change, and he became our lawyer, Mr. Fischer. And Earl's first rule still applied: Look like you don't want money. That's why Mr. Fischer pretended all he wanted was the sex. (The fact that he went through with it was apparently just him being a really good scammer, right?)