Randy, in his job as prison guard, has to turn the community TV off. The prisoners are not happy about this, and one of them has taped a sign to Randy's back that says, "Stab me!" They also throw their shoes at him. One of the prisoners swallows the knob needed to turn the TV off. Randy is having no luck, but just then the theme song to Cops comes on, and Randy realizes, "Our other Cops is on!" He runs off to find Earl.
Cops. 2002. Officer Stuart Daniels (Mike O'Malley) explains that he's in charge this week because his mother and boss lost a battle with flesh-eating bacteria. Daniels walks into the 4th of July Fair in Camden County, the first since 9/11. Here are some of the booths at the fair: a guy selling raffle tickets to win a bus ticket to Ground Zero so you can "see firsthand what Saddam Hussein did to our country." Sadly, there are people out there who wouldn't get why that's funny. Another guy named Dan Coscino is accepting quarters to sing "America ROOOOOCKS!" in a hair metal voice. Didi the One-Legged Girl is selling Bin Laden toilet paper. The guy with the electronic voice box is dressed as Osama and sitting in a dunk tank. Officer Daniels tries to dunk him and fails, promising that the real Osama will be captured within the month. Earl runs up and dunks Osama.
Officer Jeff Hoyne is a Camden native. His twin brother works at the appliance store where Earl worked for a short period of time and his sister works in the "big gals shop at the mall." He worries about their workplaces being terrorist targets. Hoyne is responding to a domestic disturbance call at the trailer park. Joy is using a weed whacker to hurt Earl. Hoyne gets her to stop and a guy wearing a turban runs up and says that he called 911, and he's Sikh. Hoyne: "I hope you feel better." Randy notices the camera and starts singing the Cops theme song. Joy greets Kevin the camera man, and apologizes for hitting him with a brick the last time he was there. Joy complains that she sent Earl to the fair to make money, and he spent their cash on an All-American Sandwich Press (slogan: "French toast? Not anymore"). Joy fires up the weed whacker again and hits Earl in the crotch, then orders Earl to go back to the fair and get some money. Earl calls her a "crazy ho" and Joy grabs a garden hoe and starts whacking him in the back. Hoyne decides that sometimes it's best to let couples work things out themselves.
Office Bobbi Bowman (Mimi from The Drew Carey Show) shows up at Club Chubby for a drunk and disorderly call where she finds TV's Tim Stack on the stage drunkenly singing "Surrey With A Fringe On Top." I can't hear that song without hearing Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan singing it in When Harry Met Sally. He refuses to let any of the strippers on stage, then tries to do a twirl and takes a header off the stage.