At the Crab Shack, Earl's trying to cross number 83 off his list: "Never took the time to teach Randy how to blow a bubble." Darnell's cheering him on, but Randy thinks blowing a bubble is impossible. Earl reminds him that he did it that one time, when he was dating that Camdenite girl. Darnell asks what ever happened with her, and Randy says he accidentally killed her. Darnell looks concerned as Earl nods in agreement. Darnell says that's cool, he guesses, and Randy and Earl both laugh. Randy was kidding. She died in a terrible car wreck, and they still haven't found her head. Earl again nods in agreement, and Darnell's concerned again. Randy laughs again, and says he's kidding again. She's in truck driving school. Earl tells Randy that he never told him that; he's been thinking she was dead and headless for months. Yeah, Randy says, sometimes he likes to let his jokes age like fine wine. Earl asks if Uncle Roger really got killed by a bear last year. Randy, "Wait for it..." But we'll have to keep waiting for it, since that takes us into opening credits.
Randy's still trying to blow bubbles, but just ends up spitting his gum into a bucket. Joy brings Dodge in, and makes him go sit in the corner. Earl asks what's up, and she says that she specifically told Dodge to stay away from Eugenia's daughter, Tiffany, but she came home to find them holding hands. Earl thinks it's sweet, but no son of Joy's is going date something that fell out of Eugenia's "devil chute." That's our Joy: so classy. She wishes double eye-cancer up on Eugenia, apparently because she's been stealing their ValuePaks out of the mail. (Was that the weirdest product placement ever?) Joy turns and sees Dodge eating a taco and takes off to reprimand him for having a taco during timeout. Earl feels bad for Dodge, but Randy thinks it's probably for the best, since she would probably break his heart and crush him, like all "ten-year-old bitches." I know I shouldn't laugh, but Ethan Suplee totally makes that line hilarious.
Earl takes us into a flashback, where we learn why Randy's so bitter against ten-year-old bitches: One summer, he and Earl were sent to live with their fat aunt Gail for a month, as punishment. And was it ever punishment: Gail needs someone to hold her back fat, while someone else holds a fan to air out the fat crevices, apparently. They also had to do chores for her. And their allowance was rocks. Luckily, Randy was a master at skipping rocks. Earl, however, sucked at it. A little girl brings a note up to Randy, who she calls "Skipper." It's from her pink-haired sister. (They call Earl "the Sinker.") The note says she likes Randy, and hopes he likes her. She signs it "Pinky." We get a montage of Skipper and Pinky having fun together: on a paddle boat, with ice cream, on a tandem bicycle, skipping rocks. Then young Randy tells Earl that Pinky's going to let him kiss her tonight on the bridge. He's going to try to go under the shirt and over the bra. Voiceover Earl tells us that Randy waited on the bridge for hours that night, but Pinky never showed up.