My Name Is Earl

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DeAnn Welker: A- | Grade It Now!
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Randy Loves Joy!

Back in the present, Randy tells us he looked for her, but never found her. Darnell tells him to look Pinky up. Randy thinks it's a good idea, but Earl reminds him that was 20 years ago, and they don't even know her real name. Earl also think it will end badly, but Randy reminds them that they've also driven with their feet and drank an entire fish aquarium. He says Darnell's right, and he wants to try to find her. Earl agrees.

They head to the lake (it took 45 minutes, but felt like three hours to Earl, since Randy change the lyrics of every song on the radio to "Pinky, Pinky, Pinky, Pinky." They arrive and talk to The Love Boat's Bernie Kopell, who runs what appears to be a fishing rental shop. Earl and Randy ask him about 1984, and Bernie says he could still lift both arms over his head then. Now? Not so much, as he demonstrates. He says he has to rub his face against a tree to scratch his nose. Randy's all, anyway, her name was Pinky and we rented a boat here with her father's credit card in 1984. "Oh, and she had pink hair." Bernie turns and says, "Oh, pink hair? She's dead, son." Randy's sad until Bernie says he's kidding. Bernie is Randy's kind of guy.

Randy and Earl wait by the lake, where Randy's getting excited about how great this day is. Earl reminds him the guy's been digging through receipts for six hours, so he shouldn't get his hopes up that they'll find her -- and, even if they do, she might be married with kids or not remember Randy. Randy says he won't get his hopes up, but of course they'll find her and of course she'll remember him. And if she's married, she'll get a divorce and she and Randy will move to Connecticut (which he pronounces phonetically), where they'll live with their three children. Earl asks how that's not getting his hopes up, and Randy says that one of the kids has cerebral palsy.

Bernie comes up then to say he found Pinky. It took a few phone calls, but he got ahold of her a few hours ago. He told her Skipper was looking for her, and she got all excited. She's on her way, and wants Randy to meet her on the bridge. She says she'll be there around 4, but it's 4:30 now, so Randy frets that they're late, and runs off to catch her. Earl sighs, and Bernie asks what's wrong with him. Earl's worried it's going to end badly, so he asks Bernie what she sounded like. Bernie thought she sounded like a real ride on the A train -- not that he could do anything about it, since his penis lost all feeling in 1993. A couple of years ago, he even lit a match under it. He says people are living too long nowadays. Too damn long.

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My Name Is Earl

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